What sounds like a cheap porn premise is now reality for me. It all started not too long ago. My mom married her new boyfriend (they’re both in their 50s) and the wedding took place at a beautiful location at the sea, where they booked two holiday houses for a week.
Only the closest family was invited, including me and my mom’s (now) husbands kids which are both my generation.
I developed a connection to my step brother and step sister in that week and I completely fell in love with her. We have really good chemistry and we had a few political conversations in which we completely agreed with each others takes. I dont know if she suspected my feelings by the end of the week. But I do remember her asking me whats up, after I had big smile on my face, walking up to her once.
Fast forward 4 weeks to the wedding party (the thing before was the actual wedding with a few people, the party had over 100 guests) and I was finally able to see her again. This was actually 2 Days ago, so everything is still pretty fresh.
I talked with my step brother (who I’d call a friend at this point) and told him how I feel about her. I just needed to talk to someone about it, and I have a good connection with him. Anyways, he told me he already suspected it but that he cant give me any advice and that he’s unsure wether it’ll work out.
At the party I was basically constantly close to her. It wasnt like I was following her on my own all the time but she also asked me wether I wanted to come with her when she went somewhere else. Once again we talked alot and our chemistry has not changed. Theres a few things that keep me from confessing my feelings to her. First of all I noticed she never flirts back. I made several compliments about her during that night, like how I think her style is cool and how I loved the food she had made. She was genuinely happy about the compliments but like I said, she didnt really say anything similar to me. Secondly theres my fear of destroying what we have right now if I tell her outright that I like her. I think she might take it well, even if she doesn’t feel the same but it might make things awkward.
Thirdly I think not enough time has passed since first meeting her and now. Maybe she’ll think that its too soon to feel like that about someone?
I hope you can give me some advice about what to do next. I see her again im 2 Weeks, at my step brothers Birthday party…
EDIT:
Okay guys you convinced me. I’m NOT gonna make a move any time soon. I also texted her brother that I wont tell her, and I think he’s a person I can trust with it.
Chances are that she already has suspicions but I wont be telling her outright what I feel. I’m just gonna go with the flow at this point.
23 comments
Yes it is true, there is a lot of porn in the “step” arena. They do just about every couple combo. Guess people just love the forbidden sex.
How old are you both? It sounds like you’re kids.
Mate, honestly pull ya head in. In a perfect world do you think you two would ever end up together? I think you just can’t be arsed working hard to get laid. The exact same as people hitting on work colleagues. It’s just easier because you’re in each other’s company a lot.
While I have no experience in this particular situation, I would recommend waiting it out. You just met this woman. Your parents JUST got married. Give it time and get to know your new stepsister really well. You have an opportunity to learn everything and anything about each other by being friends first. She may be just looking to make a connection with her new stepbrother. You may not even like her that way a few months from now after getting to know her better. Who knows… you may end up together, but I would wait until I knew for damn sure we BOTH felt the same way before making a move. If you shoot your shot and miss, things will be VERY uncomfortable. At least your new stepbrother knows and could potentially confirm her feelings down the road if you still have them at that point in the DISTANT future. Like… give it a year at least. Even if she’s your soul mate, you both can wait that long and give your parents the honeymoon phase they deserve.
EDIT: BTW… I don’t believe in missed opportunities. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
Mate, drop this. Don’t talk about it to her. Move on with your life. Think with your head and not your dick.
Show her your hog.
You have an issue that you should probably see a professional about to be honest
Aside from the obvious, long distance relationships are really hard. With all the other complications, you might just ruin a great friendship. Plus, she’s at a time in her life where she’s going to be out having fun. I’d give her some time for that and then see where life takes you two. Make an effort to stay in touch, but this radioactive situation could go nuclear if you let it. Do the mature thing and have some operational patience. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be fine later
Comes to Reddit for advice and argues with all advice.***
Don’t piss in your own pool. Be friends and find someone else to date. You’re in lust, not love at this point.
Since you two met as adults, there’s nothing wrong with dating someone who is now technically your step sister.
However, some people may find it weird including her. And she doesn’t sound too interested in you.
In situations where guys are in love with their female best friend, they can end the friendship if they have to. But you can’t. You’re stuck with this girl in your family so you need to be really sure about how you want ro proceed.
My suggestion is to find another girlfriend. You’ll get over your step sister.
My finances sister and step brother got together in a relationship and when it ended it split the family apart. Now we can’t ever have any family functions where they are both invited and one or both of them get left out all the time. It’s a really bad situation for the family.
Just saw that you’re 28 and she’s 23. You’re both adults but the fact that your now bonded through your parents marriage and she’s 5 years younger than you are gives you a power advantage over her and it’s creepy to me
Obviously he wont listen and will tell her how he feels….im curious to her response keep us updated
The best thing to do in this situation is never mention it and pretend you don’t have feelings and move on. Literally nothing good would come out of that. She doesn’t even sound interested, she sounds like she’s being polite. If you tell her, you’re just going to make things awkward for you and your whole family for, possibly the rest of your lives? Or the remainder of your parents marriage at least lol
>First of all I noticed she never flirts back. I made several compliments about her during that night, like how I think her style is cool and how I loved the food she had made. She was genuinely happy about the compliments but like I said, she didnt really say anything similar to me.
You’re crushing. She’s not crushing back. If you admit your attraction I’d give it a 10% chance of being returned.
How old are you and how many girlfriends have you had?
Do what you did in 8th grade…
Pass her a note that says
“Do you like me?”
Yes
No
Omg ur my step brother!
I recommend not risking it. In terms of friendships, if you date and breakup, the friendship might end and that sucks. But in terms of this, you will always be family. It’s too risky and I recommend looking elsewhere unfortunately.
If I was the mother I’d be super pissed if I found out my 28 year old is putting the moves on my husband’s 23 year old daughter, I’d literally just be like “couldn’t you find someone else you selfish child?” Jesus there is literally a sea of women out there and you go get a crush on someone who is pretty much off limits to you.
Let me ask you something:
What is your best case scenario?
Dating this girl, marrying her, having kids with her? Everyone in the family will be ok with this and you’ll live happily ever after? What are the chances of this happening?
Then think about the worst case scenario?
You ruin your mother’s marriage, you lose your step father’s trust, you probably date her for a while but then things go south and it becomes unbearable to share family moments with her and her new boyfriend/spouse or vice versa.
For me the answer is pretty simple, I’d stop being selfish and think about my mom first, these people are part of her new marriage and I wouldn’t mess this up for her. I’d find me someone else.
Love = a feeling that usually takes a huge time to develop, like people love their partner, pet, friends or similar things
Crush = desire to be with someone because your body desires to be with them
You basically have a crush on your step sis and that’s very dangerous, yes there’s a slight chance it works in the end since you are not biologically involved BUT
You do not think about the damn risks involved what you are about to do, with all the things that could go wrong, you simply think everything will work out as long as you ask her out
No, simply asking her out will create immense problems for you, no matter her answer you will now be on a road where there’s no turning back and you have to realize these huge risks.
If u told the step brother chances are she already knows.
You aren’t related to her (by blood). There is no reason you two can’t date (other than some might be uncomfortable).
She is a complete stranger that you’ve had nothing to do with your entire life and there is no genetic, blood link between you two so if you meet and you two hit it off there is no logical reason you can’t get together. Just because your parent and her parent got together that is no reason to stop you two if there is something there.
never know until you ask! keep us updated <3
Don’t shit where you eat this is the same as dating a coworker if it doesn’t work out you’re stuck seeing her at family things; don’t be stupid with your hormones and let your parents enjoy their marriage.