In a nutshell, my partner had a really rough time the other night dealing with emotional issues that they admit came from their own pre-existing mental illness. Now I’m being accused of being heartless/not caring because I didn’t put my evening on hold in order to come to their aid.
All of a sudden they’re talking about needing to “take a break” when before this incident we couldn’t get enough of each other. I feel like I’m being given this cold behavior for “failing a test I didn’t know I was being subject to.”
Any ideas how to build connection after something like this?
My only ideas during and now are to not be reactive or overly emotional in return. When the break was proposed, I essentially said “sure, take the time you need to feel better.” The ambivalence of that response didn’t help things; it’s like they were looking for a reaction.
1 comment
Difficult. Mental illness can be hard to deal with. On one hand, you want to be there and show them you care. The other hand, they asked for a break and set a boundary. If you respect that boundary (leave them alone)they may perceive it as you not caring, but if you keep in contact they may see it as not respecting them. Going through this exact thing now. Send them a text saying you will respect what they need, but let them know you care. Wording is key. Dont set it up so that you will wait for them, you’ll slowly slide yourself into an “option” but dont tell them you are walking away…Leave them alone for a week or two, wait for them to reach out. If they reach out, good, if not you’ll miss them a while…. But you will be ok… you are always going to be ok!