This might be a dumb question, but I (22F) have been talking to a new guy and I’m nervous to hookup with him because of the appearance of my legs. I get little red bumps on the back of my thighs when I shave and it’s kind of embarrassing. I’ve never had a man say anything about it, but I still wonder, do men even notice those kind of imperfections? Or are they more focused on just having sex?

30 comments
  1. we are just focused on sex haha no just kidding we don’t notice that kind of things! so you can be tension free and grab your boy haha ! best of luck

  2. If they are a decent human being they won’t care about little imperfections. These things are not important and everyone has things about their body they are not keen on. People don’t care about this unless they are unpleasant people.

  3. Guys are thinking about keeping it up, pleasuring their partner, not cumming too fast, not taking too long and usually doing 70% of the work in bed. So they are thinking about other things.

    Plus, guys are generally super excited just to be naked with a partner. Details aren’t our thing at that moment.

  4. If a guy is hooking up with you, he either won’t notice it, or he will and it’ll leave his mind instantly because it’s not even worth being a second thought.

    ​

    Even if you’re not hooking up and he notices it, the chance that a guy cares about that is super slim, and if you find that rare guy who does, it’s him who is an a**hole and you shouldn’t want to be with him.

  5. Going to try to give you a realistic picture of how we go about this while recognizing there is always outliers:

    70% Will not recognize you have red bumps or that you are wearing the same clothes as last time. When you get intimate they might recognize the bumps and then proceed to not care or even give them a second thought.

    20% will see the bumbs and not care.

    9% will see the bumps , think about them and then not care.

    1% will see the bumps , care and judge.

    In all my time on this planet especially now that I am older. I see women criticize and judge each other far more often and harshly then I see men do. So unless the guy you pick as that special someone is a superficial asshat, all he will care about is enjoying his time with you and hopefully that you enjoy your time with him.

    His ability to help you enjoy your time with him will vary far more broadly then whether or not you got a few red bumps on the back of your thigh.

  6. I dont shave my legs and non of the men i’ve been with have cared. I think either they didn’t notice. Or they didn’t care. So I wouldn’t worry about that tbh. Men are often simple creatures when it comes to sex. They gonna be happy that they get to have sex with you and that’s that.
    And think of it this way. Do you notice if a man have a scar, hairy hands, pimples on his chest etc. And do you care that the man have imperfections? We all are just humans so we are never perfect we all have something and it’s ok.

  7. First of all no we barely notice and second, have you tried applying anything on your legs after shaving like some type of oil? my gf would give me one cause I would get red bumps on my pubes personal area after shaving and I’ve never had them since

  8. Depends. If we’re looking to just have sex (f buddies, Fwb, etc), most men don’t notice little things. But if we’re looking for something more long term, we definitely notice… But typically don’t care. Something similar to razor burn, we definitely don’t give a crap. Typically. I only say typically, because everyone is different. I’m sure there’s guys out there that definitely nit pick little things, but that’s rarer than you may think

  9. In general, men do not pay much attention or be critical of imperfections of female partners’ body. In fact, that male attitude could be the source of disagreements and tension between women and men. Just look how mechanical or detached men become when female partner asks “how do I look?” before going out etc. Most men respond half heartedly ” oh you look good” ” fine” ” looks great” etc. Some men begin to resent always giving approval knowing any small advice, could triggers obsessive behavior with endless questions based on anxiety/ insecurity from women. I am just talking in general and there are women who just wear what they want and do not ask for others opinion or approval. ( I personally love those women).

    It illustrates, how men are not judged by perfect physical representation of themselves where as women are often judged or they judge other women more harshly based on looks. Maybe the media and fashion industry is at least partially responsible for this focus on physical appearence. Sadly.. her intelligence, knowledge, unique outlook on life, her own lifestyle, her opinion etc which could be super sexy to many men are all ignored.

    Sexual arousal comes from many things: visual, tactile, auditory and the dynamics women and men create. What is most important but under appreciated is not physical, it is how women mentally approach sex, their willingness to enjoy sex, how they lead or allow men to lead etc they are all about her mind and how she interacts with her partner (s)

  10. Honestly, most guys wouldn’t notice.

    I got really bad razor bumps and ingrown hairs on my thighs for years, so I feel that frustration. Have you experimented with different types of razors or electric shavers to find something better for your skin?

  11. Men usually dont even notice. If they do, they wont care. Half the time I dont even bother shaving and I’ve never had a man say anything about it.

  12. Me, I’ll definitely notice. Probably gonna ask if you’re okay as well since I’m not trying to catch no stds. If you confirm that it’s an aftershave bump, I’ll ask if if it won’t hurt to proceed. If not then, I’ll go right back to business.

  13. In my experience guys are much more focused on your attributes. They will look at your butt and your boobs and if you’re already having sex they will look at themselves moving in and out of you as well as your face to check if you feel good because a partner feeling pleasure and expressing it is hot. There is no brain power left in that moment to notice an ingrown hair or cellulite or whatever other insecurity you have and if they do notice they don’t care because the rest looks and feels too good.

  14. I am sure he’ll be over the moon if you choose to show him the back of your thighs.

    Joking aside, most people, particularly younger people, are too preoccupied by their own imperfections to notice other people’s. I wouldn’t over think it.

  15. Life isn’t perfect. Imperfections are around us everywhere.

    I appreciate a good looking woman but i find the most appreciation for a natural looking woman.. Imperfections and all.

    I don’t even see them tbh… Makes no difference to me personally.
    If you are beautiful then you are beautiful

  16. If I am able to see your bum with bumps on it. I notice. But I understand razor burn. And I really notice what else I can see. Which is your naked butt, maybe more.

  17. First, I think women tend to vastly overestimate exactly what men care about in the area of appearance. It seems to mainly come from what you’re either sold by media or by comparing yourselves to other women. Except for a few absolute a-holes, men really don’t need all that. In fact, if a man is leaning in that direction consider it a major red flag and get out of the relationship ASAP.

    Second, those so called imperfections are the real spice of life. They are what make every interaction interesting and alluring. While men are capable of making comparisons against some hypothetical idea type, most likely those are academic comparisons only and change nothing about how we feel when we’re with you. Trust me, being “imperfect” means practically nothing to most of us.

    Lastly, if you’re looking for what really matters, the best advice you can take is “enthusiasm beats everything”. Said a slightly cruder way, an enthusiastic six (with any number of so called “imperfections”) beats an unenthusiastic ten every time. I’ve seen this play out repeatedly and you can also if you watch couples in public settings. If you’re bringing your A game you’ll get attention.

  18. 90% of the people in this comments section are lying. I do notice things like this. If you have a rash near your groin area, I’m going to notice. On the back of your thighs? It won’t stop me from having sex but I will notice it.

  19. They’re at the back of your thighs, probably can’t even be seen when having sex from the front. Having sex from the back (doggy), the guy will look at your butt, your butthole, how his dick goes in and out of you, he’ll be looking at your face if you turn your head sideways.

    He’ll worry about coming too quick, he may worry about whether you enjoy it, whether he impress you, he may wonder if you like it harder or slower, he’ll try to not get tired. But most of all, he’ll be happy to have sex.

    Little red bumps at the back of your thigh is not something most guys would be remotely interested in.

  20. if we like you, not at all but if you piss us off or hurt someone we care about then every little thing will be logged into our minds so we can throw it at you when we need to.

  21. I have a skin picking disorder. My arms and chest are full of tiny scars and scabs. It’s very visible. But not a single person commented on them, whether in bed or in real life. It’s just not that important

  22. If you have a great personality who cares. But, try a different razor or different shave lotion? Talk to a dermatologist of you don’t find something which works.

  23. If the girl had a third arm growing from the middle of her forehead I might notice. Anything less than that and it will be ignored based on the simple fact that she’s naked and going to have sex with me

  24. Once I drew a painting. I worked really hard on it, fixing all the little things, scrutinizing every inch of the painting.

    By the end, I was exhausted, but I’d done my best and I loved it. However due to its 3d nature, it had small cracks all over. Due to needing to buy more paint, there was a slight shade difference, clearly having a transition point. Some places visible having a line between the two shades. I’d accidentally spilled orange paint on a tiny portion, so there are little flecks (and it was too late to fix)

    ​

    When i show it to friends. Almost no-one SEES ANY OF THIS! I have to point it out, and then they go “oh yeah you accidentally dropped a small drop of orange here, huh”. “oh there ARE some cracks, I didn’t realize”

    ​

    People don’t see the stuff you’ve spent ages scrutinizing. They see the overall picture.

  25. Very closely. Now ask us if they matter…

    Hint: they don’t. Or if he says they do, then he’s not for you.

  26. What you find unable to not see and most despise about your body he occasionally notices, and might like it

    What you find glaring and obvious, to him is a small detail

    You think is plain to see, he considers a nuance

    If it’s a small detail to you he may not be able to see

    A minor imperfection or subtlety for you is absolutely invisible to most men.

  27. Most of us don’t judge little things like that. Although this particular problem is avoidable. Try using an electric razor like a Norelco One Blade. No red bumps. No razor burn.

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