How long are you willing to wait for sex? A week? A month? 6 months?

My dumbass has currently been waiting 3 months and i’m already sick and tired of it. I hate this. Being such a sexual person myself.

I can’t do it anymore.

33 comments

  1. In my current relationship (9 years total) it was about 6 months before we started having sex.

  2. You have to think about what does sex mean to you? Are you just having sex because you’re horny and there’s no importance, is it the way you express love etc.

    And then compare that to what does sex means for your partner. If there’s a huge incompatibility, like it’s a sacred act for her because of her religion for example It might be an issue and you could be waiting a lot longer.

  4. All about what you are willing to do. I have heard of folks that smash on the first date and others they waited many years. Everyone has different boundaries and desires. If you prioritize sex heavily in a relationship you might need to reconsider things. 🌼🌻🌈🤡😻🧑‍⚕️

  5. talk to your partner. do it when you both feel comfortable. don’t put a timestamp on it, that causes too much anxiety around it.

  6. For my first relationship, we waited until about 6 months in. We were both virgins at the time and we were taking things slowly. In my next two relationships, we had sex within a couple days. In my last relationship and current relationship, we were/are long-distance, so sex couldn’t happen immediately.

    For my former one, it was a few months before we were able to visit. We tried having sex then, but unfortunately we weren’t able to make sex work for us despite trying for certain reasons, and we ended up not being able to have penetrative sex throughout the relationship, and she was still a virgin as of when we broke up.

    For my current relationship, we definitely want to be sexually active with each other, and likely would have actually been sexually active well before we were dating if she lived locally. However, she lives in Canada and I live in Texas, so it’s unlikely that we will get to do anything in-person until at least next year. It’s hard, but I’m willing to wait. For now we get by doing mutual masturbation on video call. Plus, our relationship is sexually open, so if I do find someone local that’s willing to hook up, I can pursue that without issue.

  7. Personally I wouldnt be in a relationship without sex first. After like 2-3 times hanging out I would expect to have sex or that they’re not compatible with me

  8. I made my husband wait. I was waiting until marriage and then…idk lol I lost my virginity to him after like 2 or 3 months of us dating. I’ve always wondered if he would have actually waited until marriage – he doesn’t give me a straight answer so I’m thinking maybe no 🤣 I don’t think I could have waited for him anyway

  9. When I was young I waited far too long. After a 2 year live in relationship ended, largely due to her libido being far lower than mine, the light bulb went on. I resolved to have sex by the 2nd date and try to gauge sexual compatibility. When I wasn’t looking for a relationship I met a woman. We had awesome sex on the first date. That was in 1984. Now she’s my wife. We are still madly in love and have awesome sex. It’s by far the best relationship in our lives. I’m glad I finally wised up!

  12. I don’t believe in waiting, y’all are either sexually active or not. If one is and one isn’t then it’s a big nope

  13. Guess I am a werdio lol I waited a year. Best choice I made for me anyways. We have been married 22 years this year.
    I understand wanting to make sure your compatible, but having sex on a first or third date is very fast for me. Is there a reason the girl your with doesn’t want to have sex? Maybe she wants to get to know you better first. IDK but not everyone wants to jump in bed that fast and thats ok. Just like people who have sex right away. You have to decide what works for you. But just cause someone wants to wait, its not always a bad thing, or makes them not sexually compatible.
    Just a different prospective.

  18. Wow reading these comments I’ve realized I’m truly a prude. I would never even consider having sex with someone I didn’t care for to some degree. I would wait for sex until it felt right for both of us and it was the right opportunity. No time limit on when it had to be. I don’t care if it took 3 months. That’s fine. I just want to get to know the person cause that’s how I’ve always been. When it feels right, it feels right. I don’t have sex with guys just to have sex with them. I wouldn’t get anything from that.

  19. I met my wife when I was 23 and we waited about three months. It didn’t really bother me having to wait because I enjoyed her company and we were friends before that anyway.

  20. This is a meaningless question without context: If there’s a medical or trauma reason behind it? Months in a new relationship, many more in an established one. If they just genuinely don’t feel the need to have sex even weekly, then it’s not going to work out.

  21. It depends on the type of person I guess. With my Ex, we both waited for 6 months before having sex. No particular reason. We were both not ready and did not have a place to have sex. With my current girlfriend, we both have sex on the first day after dinner date.

  22. I think I can wait for a month if I really had to (but can’t think of a good reason).

    But ideally maybe around 5 dates is long enough for me. If there’s a spark and strong attraction, I’m pretty sure I’d want to suck that cock before the 5th date.

  23. An hour tops

    Always fucked guys in less than an hour of meeting tbh I don’t see the point in denying myself to satisfy some social construct of it being a negative thing

  24. If I haven’t done anything physical by 3rd or 4th date I would be questioning where this was going, but that’s just me

  25. Honestly, age matters with this question. If you guys are young, its more understandable that she waits and needs more time to trust you and feel comfortable. But on the other hand, i dont like any type of games played by neither men or women, im straight forward and sex shouldnt be much of a big deal in it self(sacred).
    Im not religious, i didnt grow up religious, nor do i date or dated girls with a conservative background. This plays a bigger part in dating that you might think.
    Also, im European and usually depending which country, which area, women are more open for sex in general(generally speaking).
    Me personally, i dont judge the girl you are dating but i couldnt do it. I respect her choice but i would move on without grudges.
    Is she inexpierienced? Is she a virgin? This matters, because if so, her mindset makes totally sense.
    But if not and she finished college its for my taste too much mind puzzles im not willing to deal with. Good for her, i respect that, but i would move on.

  26. Despite having a high libido, I would happily wait 4-6 weeks for sex. Any longer than that would be grounds for ending things.

    Fucking within the first few dates doesn’t guarantee that the person will be a good partner or that their apparent sexual appetite will be sustained long term.

    If you’re only after casual sex, then sure, there’s nothing wrong with wanting sex as soon as possible. But if you’re after something meaningful, you need to spend time getting to know the person first without sex entering into the equation.

    The hormones released during sex will hinder your ability to see that person as they truly are and you’re likely to be wasting your time with someone who isn’t as amazing as the dopamine makes them out to be.

  27. People are rushing to have sex even if they weren’t comfortable. There’s no exact time. it’s that time when you both feel comfortable and ready. Communication is the key.

  28. Have you communicated your desire to have sex and soon?

    My current bf and I tried once maybe a month in. It didn’t feel right, like we didn’t know each other enough and it felt awkward. He told me he had been sexually assaulted previously, and I have been as well. I told him I wanted for us to wait to have sex so we could build more trust and closeness. We didn’t end up having penetrative sex again (still were sexual though) until maybe 3 months in. And we were so much closer to each other at that point that the sex was so passionate and hot.

    People think that if you wait, you don’t have a high sex drive. I am a highly sexual person with a very high sex drive, but outside of a hookup/fwb, I don’t like having sex too early on. I want to have more trust with someone I’m emotionally involved with before having sex. If my bf and I weren’t on the same page it would have been really difficult. I’ve been in so many relationships where there was pressure to have sex almost immediately.

  29. I was 6mo out of a bad relationship & was trying to be celibate for a bit. Never expected my current partner of 3yrs now to come along at the time. We never agreed on being exclusive, but we weren’t with anyone. I wanted him pretty damn badly. 3mo into us having feelings and pretty much going on unofficial dates, I had sex w/ him & now we’ve been exclusively dating with a happy frequent sex life.

    From his perspective, he just wanted me to be comfortable above all else despite never having waited so long. He wanted the relationship with me more than how frustrated he was. We had conversations often about our expectations around sex/a relationship.

    Re-evaluate how you feel — is this relationship worth it to you more than moments of frustration? Touch bases on reasoning — do they have desire for you? If so, there is potential there for you to be compatible. Also think, how will additional time impact their reasoning for holding out? Is there anything they’ve wished you could do (whether it be make them feel safe, etc.)?

    It’s completely reasonable to not want a relationship with someone who may not be sexually compatible with you. If their reason involves a journey (whether it be healing from sexual trauma, symptoms from depression or meds, etc.) you’re not ready to stay by their side along, then don’t muddy it up for them or yourself.

  30. So, when I’m out of a relationship, then obviously I wait months if not years. Not ideal, but such is life. But in a relationship? I’d prefer it as soon as possible, if not then perhaps… A month? At most? Even then that’s a while

  31. Uh, I have a 5 date rule. I’d say max… a month. Not everyone is compatible and I’d rather get it out of the way. But truth be told it’s was usually date 2-3

  32. So TALK about it.

    “I feel like my sexual needs aren’t being met. I want to talk with you about what’s going on so we can both express our desires and connect sexually. Please, talk to me.”

  33. If me and a person have crazy chemistry when we meet and we wanna do it? We’re doing it. It’s the best thing in the world next to making something. You get to know each other really well AND be very vulnerable and intimate with each other. Just think about it: dinner/drinks and long talks, then dancing/foreplay, then crazy rough sex, then cuddling and falling asleep together. Heaven, right? Literally what makes life worth living.

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