Guys, what made you realize that “this girl is definitely not interested in me”?

32 comments

  1. She was offering to make me dinner when her muscular boyfriend was my next door neighbor.

    Clearly she just wanted to see him kick my ass.

  5. When I caught my wife in bed with another man. I said, “Get off of me you two!” I was crushed.
    -Emo Phillips

  6. I fell over in front of her, slammed my head into a locker and then let out a soft moan.

    Then as I moved past her to get out of the way I said “excuse me”, but my voice cracked and I whispered it for some reason.

  9. “Three hours going out with you is three hours longer it will take to get my degree”.

  14. A girl at work, we had a good report. A few months later I asked her for coffee. She declined and her walls went up a 1000’.

    Afterwards I gave her space and ignored her for months, yet she constantly looked at me. For example. During first aid training, there was a dozen people in class, she only looked at me as she walked by during the training.

    Few weeks later I said hi and asked her about her weekend, she gave me a two word answer.

    A month later there was a birthday party in the office. She walked past us and only looked at me, I caught her staring at me.

    Few weeks later I tried to speak to her. I asked her to help me pick out gifts for my aunt and for my cousin for Mother’s Day. She declined. After that day she never looked at me ever again.

    But for over six months, she would try get a glimpse if I’m looking at her.

    Weirdest thing I have ever encountered.

  16. One of my most drastic stories was at a bar. Two very attractive ladies dressed to the nines entered, and a friend of mine started a conversation with intent on making an opening for me (he had a GF at the bar, and he had been helping me do basic approach stuff) and when I finally gathered the confidence and started walking over, they noticed me from 20ft away and after making it obvious they saw me, they turned their bodies very noticeably away from me. Yup, I was done.

    The most honest advice I ever got was from my sister: “if a woman is interested in you, she’ll make time for you.” I have had _a lot_ of friends give me dating advice and the sum total of all of that advice didn’t amount to how useful, truthful, and consistent my sister’s advice was. Knowing and observing for that let me see through the litany of excuses and time wasting patterns (mostly on dating apps), so it let me manage my energy and effort while dating. Also, in more subtle way, it can serve as receiving feedback on if what you did was taken well or not in a more clear and timely manner.

  17. The ones who were clear in declining my offer, I barely remember anymore. I ask, they say no (politely or sometimes not). Fine, *end of interaction, memory delete*

    It’s the ones who give off mixed signals that stick with me and bother me years later. Not the rejection, but the “how TF did I not realize sooner she wasn’t actually interested?” part.

    I had one that was ridiculously flirtatious. She’d enter into suggestive conversations (once she gave a detailed description of her privates.. and when I didn’t acknowledge what she’d said due to the surroundings, she repeated it, thinking I hadn’t heard it), but if I actually made an offer, she’d deflect it without ever saying no. So I finally made an offer that was specific, but with an open time, and she said “I’m busy that night” or something similar, never realizing I’d not specified that part. OK I got the message, game over, I’m no longer interested. BUT..

    Two nights later we’re at a work party, and the alcohol is flowing. She’s being VERY showy, obviously looking for attention (she gave a lapdance to another girl at the party in front of everyone, for example). But even though I’ve lost interest, and make no effort to talk to her, I found myself near her a few times, and each time she made a BIG show of getting away from me after I noticed her. OK fine, I GOT the MESSAGE SISTER. So I have to spend the rest of the time actively avoiding her vicinity just to keep from having to see her displays. But then the next workday…she complains to her friends at work that I’m not flirting with her anymore, despite her trying!!

    After that, not only was I convinced beyond all uncertainty she wasn’t interested in me, I knew I didn’t want to be within a half mile of her.

  18. It is always the stop initiating contact and watch how long it takes them to reach out to me. It is always strange to me because we always seemed to interact often, texting, hanging out, whatever. But I find out that if I don’t initiate it ends and always surprisingly abruptly.

  20. Told me she had so much going on, wasn’t really ready for anything & didn’t have time to see me. Which we were both fine with when we first started talking because work etc. My sister is friends with her & she told me my ex has been going out partying, popping pills & just recently got arrested for having Xanax on her. So after hearing she had time to go do all that & not see me I figured everything else she told me was just an excuse to dump me. I didn’t want to be a stepdad to her kid anyway! 🤬

  21. When her excuse for not replying to me is because she says she isn’t on her phone much but she’s the type to always be on her phone.

  24. When I asked her out, she said yes, then stood me up. When I asked her why she stood me up she laughed at me. That was a pretty clear sign she wasn’t interested.

  25. When all the attention or interaction I received was around something that was needed from me.
    Noped out of it.

  27. *talks to girl*,
    *vibes*,
    *gets her contact*,
    *messages next day*,
    *left on read*.

    Pretty much that

  29. She cancelled our wedding and pocketed the cash. I had no idea until I called the wedding planners with a question I had, only to find out she cancelled the wedding and took back whatever refundable amount she could.

    I distinctly remember thinking: I don’t think this girl likes me very much.

  30. When I remember she’s my neighbor and I wish another version of me would assassinate me for the stupid shit I say around her

  31. I’d been in love with this girl since I met her in 3rd grade. I am now 28. In the 20 years I’ve known her, she’s had boyfriends, I’ve had girlfriends. We might go weeks, months, a year without talking, for various reasons. But it was never on bad terms. I’d always respect when she was in a relationship, I’ve just always wanted her to be happy, no matter who she’s with. The older we got, the more I started to notice that while she was in a relationship, she would completely cut me off. And while she was single, she would want to hang out with me almost weekly, just the two of us. Plenty of people would tell me that she was just using me as a placeholder until the next guy came along. And I knew it was true but something deep down wouldn’t let me fully believe it. I would always tell myself “no but there HAS to be a reason for this and that…”. There was plenty of times where she was single and we’d plan to go to a concert next month for example. Between now and next month she’d get a boyfriend, and she would cut me off without ever mentioning the plans we had. I still believed though.

    Finally, during Covid, I would attempt to hang out with her so many times and she’d always use the “no we can’t because of Covid. Idk who you’ve been around and you don’t know who I’ve been around”. Which was fair especially during the earlier months/year of Covid. But then I’d see her socials, she was hanging out with new people all the time while telling me she couldn’t hang out with me. We went almost a year without talking (which wasn’t necessarily abnormal) and during Covid, she ended up getting a boyfriend. Earlier this year I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and had to move back to my hometown, which is where she lives. She was always so easy to talk to so I hit her up one day just to see how she was doing and hoping to hang out and catch up with each other. She ended up hitting me with “I feel like I’m being disrespectful to my bf by talking to you”. I was devastated. I didn’t fight it. I told her I’d respect her feelings, and left it at that. That’s when I fully came to terms that she had been using me all these years.

  32. Depends on the woman. It could be when she one or more of the following:

    * Ghosts me
    * Ignores me if I see her in public
    * Uses the word “boyfriend” (referring to her partner) after I introduce myself
    * Straight up tells me
    * Flakes on me when we have a date planned

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