Hey guys!
So i have a really good friend. Texted me first basically all week last week, told me about what bothers him and despite having a thight schedule made time to meet and said during the time we spent together that he missed the weekly meetings during my excavation. Even asked me if i was ok 3 times last week when there were situations that were not quiet that safe.
He texted me over the weekend, were he read my message (nothing I would expect an answer to) and answered over an hour after reading and we talked for a while. Saturday we exchanged a few messages, and sunday i accidentally called him being half asleep, apologised when he texted if that was intentional, he texte a voice message back with some music to wake up to. Later that day he texted a picture (he usually would have put in his status instead), i sent a picture back and got no reaction.
I later send another picture to which he answered something (unrelated to the first one).
Yesterday morning he texted me again, i answered, he read it and that’s it. Today I asked if he wants to hang out tomorrow or how it is in general this week. He watched my status, but it took him a few hours to read my message and again, no answer.
How do you deal with this? I can deal with either no answer or answering, but not with this. I have no idea what a socially apropriate way of asking again would be.
We know each other for over a year now, so no new contact.
1 comment
I know a few people like this, very sporadic texters. This may seem random but does your friend have/show any signs of something like ADHD from the time you’ve known him. People like that tend to respond in their head but forget to actually respond to the person or they delay the response because they’re not sure atm and feel they have time but then forget to respond entirely. I’ve grown used to it and don’t take it personally anymore, but it can still be a pain when trying to make concrete plans with them. Especially when they presented the idea in the first place.
For people like that when it comes to plans, I’d usually go with something like “Hey, if you’re too busy to meet (insert time here), I’m gonna make some other plans. You good with that?” if they haven’t responded after my first couple attempts to solidify plans. (Note: In case they ask, “other plans” don’t need to be anything special or even what I end up doing. It could be something like I want to read a new book, I need to do some cleaning, I wanna listen to that new album, etc. But I don’t mention what those plans are unless specifically asked.)
Usually that tells them they need to make a decision now and lights a little fire under them to respond quickly without being too rude or sounding needy. If they respond, I got my answer. If they don’t respond, I got my answer.