So I have a long distance friend I have known for like 3 years and when they first moved, we kept in contact. They moved again last year and keeping contact with them was harder as I always texted first and they took long to respond at some point, like a week. Anyway, they told me 6 months ago they’ve been really busy and keeping up with long distance friends is hard but its nothing personal as they like our friendship. Since then, I always had to reach out and recently I asked to meet up in person like a week in advance but they couldn’t as they’d be too busy. I felt like I was too invested, so I stopped talking to them and it’s been like 45ish days or so since we last talked. I’ve decided to step back for a bit and all, but I wonder if I’m ruining my friendship as some say if you never reach out and they don’t reach out, it means they don’t care much for the friendship. But I do know another friend said they didn’t hear from them and didn’t talk much over summer and they are tight, so I was wondering, am I ruining my friendship maybe?
1 comment
I feel like the answer you’re going to get more often than not will be “if they’re not willing to put in the same amount of effort you are, then you should move on.” I do think that is good advice for the most part, but I want to give you another perspective.
I have debilitating anxiety and depression. I love my friends with all my heart, but sometimes it is hard for me to respond to calls or texts timely (or at all.) I feel so guilty and my anxiety swells when I think about all my unanswered texts. It makes me feel so good when my friends don’t give up on me and keep texting even though I’m the “bad friend” that rarely responds timely.
I think it is safe to say that most of the time if your friend is ghosting you, you shouldn’t put in the effort. But sometimes (probably rarely) there may be other circumstances you’re not aware of.
*edit for grammar