Hate me or love me is up to you. By now I realized I can’t control how others feels about me. I’m kinda didn’t care cause by the end of the day nobody knows how I am better than myself. I mean, they don’t spend 24/7 with me. Recently I notice there’s someone who clearly doesn’t like me. But is it wrong that I have no intention or whatsoever to prove to them that I’m not a bad person? I fucking hate it when someone/society tells me to do something that I don’t want to do. For example, to pretend like I care.
You know that awkward moment in a funeral when you don’t really have a special connection to the dead r their close one so you just pretend like you’re “grieving”. You know, “adapting”. I freaking hate that.
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I appreciate the philosophy, since I don’t make an effort to worry about others’ perceptions of me either. (Except table manners. Those don’t benefit me so much, but kinda necessary, right?)
However we DO have a lot of control over how others feel about us. But, if someone clearly doesn’t like you I don’t know that I’d go out of my way to ‘fix it’ or worry about it. That’s their problem.
But if you have trouble connecting with people or making friends, then that’s more of a ‘you’ thing, not a ‘them’ thing.
On the wake/funeral issue it isn’t about pretending to grieve. It’s about showing a little compassion for those who ARE grieving. I like to contribute also by asking about the deceased, hey, what were they like, do you have any great stories about them etc.
In other words, tap into what’s going on and try to make a positive contribution either through empathy or bringing up things that might revive warm memories.
Don’t pretend to grieve!
Good luck.