TL,DR; male friend told me he feels super sad and miserable after he ejaculates. He’s prone to bouts of depression and I’m concerned this is a sign that he’s getting worse.
A friend (24M) just told me that his relationship with his girlfriend has become strained after he confessed to her that he doesn’t want to ejaculate anymore when they have sex. Basically he likes having sex with her, but when he feels he’s about to come, he asks her to stop, wait for him to cool down, and then carry on. He said that he *likes* to ejaculate, but he can’t stand the feeling he gets right *after* \– he says he feels depressed and miserable and just worn out.
I’m just wondering, is this normal? Is it normal for men to dislike to ejaculate because of the misery that you feel afterwards?
I’m asking because I’m concerned from my friend. Normally he’s a pretty chill guy — always laughing, always making us laugh, he’s the life of the party… But I’ve seen him high, drunk, and even on mushrooms, and when he’s under the influence, he’s prone to crying and going on rants about how miserable he feels. Like he’s constantly questioning why he’s alive and the 9-5 job he has wears him down a lot because he has a **ton** of student loans to pay and his debts have pretty much crippled him financially. I don’t know if the issue ejaculating means that he’s getting worse.
4 comments
Well, I have to say, this was the most interesting question on the subreddit in a while. Looking into it, there are two separate issues. One is feeling bad after ejaculating and the other is feeling bad after sex. It sounds like he has the former and not the latter though. Which means it is likely more of a physical thing. While the brief research I did did not turn up why it happens, it does seem to be a thing some men experience, and it has been written about centuries ago, so it is probably part of the general human experience. But it is absolutely not a universal men thing. Lots of men do not experience this. I suspect he is in a small minority that work this way. As to feeling depressed after sex, that can happen to men and women and is more common in women. It is called post-coital dysphoria and seems to be rooted in psychological issues around sex. It is possible he has some psychological issues around ejaculation, but it’s also possible this is just how he works. A big question I’d have is is all ejaculation equally a problem for him or is there a difference between sex and masturbation.
Umm… no. Not at all. Orgasms rock.
Well I didn’t think I would ever hear someone ask that question . Kind of strange . But oh hell no they don’t hurt your friend must be doing it all wrong if it hurts
Plenty of people experience post coital dysphoria. If it’s so severe that he wants to avoid it all together, maybe it’s time to see a professional.