so i made a post a few weeks ago here about the same person and drawing boundaries with them and it received a lot of attention.
i’ve known this man since early 2020 and he was the first person i’ve ever “been” with, ive only met him abt 7 or 8 times tho cos he lives a few hours away. over this time we’ve maintained communication online, had arguments and not spoken for months.
lately im really upset thinking about the things hes done to me and i know if i brought them up he’d accuse me of not letting go of the past.
he refuses to accept the power he has over me as an older man. not to mention he is seeing an 18 year old girl!!!!! which i HIGHLYYYYY disapprove of. when i expressed this he seemed hurt and accused me of bullying him??!??! i literally feel sick thinking about it
i feel like my friendship with him has run its course. he wants to see me when i come to his city soon and i told him im not interested in hooking up, especially bc i am seeing someone else..
i really want our friendship to slowly dissipate but honestly im afraid of him. all of his other relationships with women are chaotic and rocky.
hes not ever been violent but he has admitted his past relationship was mutually mentally abusive and i can see how he still has those tendencies.
i’ve blocked and deleted him so many times over the years and i always came back because i felt this guilt about it??
since i met him i’ve been with other people who have treated me much better and im just so not proud of myself for having him in my life..
i have him added on so much social media
i dont know what to do
TLDR in a toxic friendship with someone i used to hook up with
please dont be mean.. i met him when i was 21 and naive and i’ve just outgrown him though i dont think i should ever have met him.
5 comments
Do you think he feels guilty about how he treated you?
Just…. block him again…. and stick to it. For your own mental health and wellbeing.
You don’t owe anyone any explanations and you’re never going to get closure with him so do everyone involved a favor and walk permanently away.
There’s nothing “to get out of”…. just stop talking to him. ENTIRELY.
Fuck this fake guilt you’re feeling. It’s bullshit. It’s probably a result of things from your past that contribute to you having shitty boundaries. (Speaking from experience with false guilt and shitty boundaries!)
Seriously, I’m going to say it again…. Just. Stop. Talking. To. Him.
I’m not really understanding the problem. He’s trash. Just stop talking to him. You don’t even live in the same city, there are literally no repercussions.
when you say you’re afraid of him, what is it about him that makes you afraid? would just blocking him and going no contact bring forth any kind of abusive behavior or harassment from him?
You know how to do it – keep him blocked. The question is really how to want to do it.
Imagine this was happening to someone you care about. Think about how frustrated and sad you’d feel and allow yourself to care for yourself that much.
Part of breaking the cycle is finally seeing yourself as someone who shouldn’t be treated this way, because you are worth more than this. Walk away and don’t look back.