I started classes and my job recently. I haven’t been trained yet so I’ve been corresponding with my manager who is also someone I know (not very well) from my club. Unfortunately, all of the shifts we can sign up for are from 4-7pm which conflicts with most of my days due to classes. I’ve been corresponding with my manager and attempting to figure out when the best possible day to come in to get trained and make up for days I had to find a replacement for. Every time I text them, I feel like I’m annoying them and that I should apologize. I find that I apologize a lot over text and email when I feel like I might be inconveniencing someone in any capacity (ex: asking a professor/TA a question, I feel the need to apologize even tho it’s their job). I realize that I apologize a lot for stuff that doesn’t require it but I’m wondering if me apologizing might subconsciously make them think my request is something that I should be apologizing for. Bit of a tangent but if anyone has any suggestions or tips when it comes to this, it’d be super appreciated.
4 comments
Generally over-apologizing communicates a lack of self-esteem. So only apologize for actual offenses. If a person does not act offended, don’t assume that they are.
I would suggestreplacing apologies with gratitude if you can. Instead of saying “sorry to bother you” you can say “thanks for taking the time”. You can also do a little digging online for tips on communicating professionally via text/email. Try to leave apologies for mishaps. Saying sorry probably won’t make them think you’ve done something wrong – but first comment is correct that it portrays low self esteem and might even become annoying.
Today I watched Patrick Teahans video on “do you navigate people?” And it really helped me to put into perspective how unfair it is to project fear onto other people. You’re assuming these folks don’t want to help you or that they are as he said “like a bomb about to go off” and you have to navigate their feelings. This is not true, you are not any more of a bother than anything else in their inbox today. Highly recommend his YouTube channel even if childhood trauma isn’t something you identify with.
Don’t apologize if you’ve done nothing wrong.
Normally I would agree with you.
In this instance however you are using the time of someone else to educate you. Their time should be priority, not your social activities. As someone who works my arse off and has to slow down to train people, if you aren’t on my clock you can **** off. Unless you have family emergencies then it’s up to you to reschedule everything else