First off I am male but not a dad, when I sneeze it’s nothing compared to say my co-worker who is both a dad and grandpa, dude sneezed earlier and people from another room come to make sure he was alright lol.

I’m bored at work and this became one of my musings

47 comments

  3. We can’t say yet. We’ll reveal the secret when you have your first kid. Same time we issue your white New Balance.

  5. If I tried to contain it, I might die.

    Also, it means a man is good in bed. A sneeze is just a sample of his power.

  8. Scream sneezes. It’s so over the top! And not just men – I have a coworker who used to scare me every time she sneezed. Definitely a power move

  9. All our frustration, insecurity, and stress get trapped in our sinuses and we have to blow extra loud to clear them.

  10. Look bro, we’re invisible most of the time. Sneezing is the only time we know we matter. Don’t take it from us.

  11. It’s just a physiological change you go through after your first kid is born. Along with making grumbling noises when you stand or sit, making bad puns/jokes, the urge to listen to more Jimmy Buffet, and cooking mediocre chili then calling it your Famous Chili.

  12. I don’t think it has got anything to do with being a dad/grandpa, I sneezed loud as fuck before I had kids.

  13. For me? Genuinely hoping for an aneurism to give me the sweet release I so crave and hit my family with that dead dad bankroll.

  14. Because women hate our emotions they come out in uncontrolled, loud blasts and we made them believe those are sneezes.

  22. It’s not a dad thing, but an age thing. I’m now 31 and realize I can’t silence my sneezes anymore.

  23. As someone with sneezes powerful enough that sometimes my arms and shoulders ache afterwords, sometimes you just can’t control them. It is possible – sometimes- to sneeze more quietly, but it is often painful to do so (that much force rushing out of your nose all at once can really hurt!) or requires both preparation and concentration. It is generally just easier and less painful to let your body do what it is going to do and feel slightly embarrassed over your sudden and involuntary exclamation than it is try and control the tiny dragon trying to escape your lungs.

  24. Look up Troy sneezing on community. Pierce helps him out and explains to him the importance of a power sneeze lol

  26. I’m legitimately annoyed by this type of accusation. I’ve had loud sneezes for as long as I can remember, and I’ve always enjoyed puns and other “dumb” humor. Until recently, I didn’t even want to ever be a dad. I can already see the “funny” comments coming that (from anyone I meet after my wife and I have had a child) I’m evidence for the “dad sneeze” and “dad jokes” and whatnot. Fuck you, that’s just how I sneeze, and that’s just what I find hilarious. Dad status has nothing to do with it.

  27. All vocalisations you make while coughing/sneezing sre totally learnt through observation. All your body needs to do is blow air out fast. The voice added in is entirely unnecessary and just acts to call attention.

  28. We like to let everyone know we are still alive and haven’t died in our favourite armchair.

  29. My husband who is the dad of my kids used to sneeze super loud until I yelled at him to shut up once at 4 am, on sneeze number 3 in a row. Now he just sneezes normally

  31. It’s efficient. One and done. None of this 3 sneeze bullshit to fuck around with. Just sneeze once and get it over with.

  32. Too much work to silencec them, plus no fucks left to give….And a power sneeze with a good ‘achOoooooooo’ is about as satisfying as raising a fist in the air and grunting when implanting your seed.

  38. I’ve had the dad sneeze since grade school. It’s only gotten louder, longer, and more powerful since (35, married, no kids.)

  39. Knew an older woman once that held back a sneeze. It dislodged a blood clot, which caused her to have a stroke.

    Couldn’t be me.

  41. I am neither a dad nor grandpa, but my sneezes are pretty loud. They also stink sometimes.

  42. I’m not a dad or grandpa. Only 30. An I sneeze an cough like my dad an grandpa now. Letting all the air out each time. I just recently started this few months ago. I think it’s just a age thing maybe a idgaf thing. An it scares the shit out of my gf an mom. It’s funny. My little brother (24yrs old) laughs when it does. So there’s that.

  44. This made me laugh. You could hear my dads sneeze from a mile away. I always wondered if he was putting it on.

  47. Upon the date that boy becomes man, he will be issued ‘The Book’. Upon receipt, This book will contain many pages but few words. The instant fingers touch cover this book will be forever , his and his alone. The book is his, he is the book. They are one henceforth.
    To fill the book , he must become enlightened. Enlightenment will come with maturity, selflessness and experience.
    The book will detect enlightenments as they occur and each instance will trigger the addition of crucial bits of information that will guide him to the next enlightenment. The first bit of crucial information has already filled out page one.
    Page one simply says “Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey” . This will guide him to page two and so on until the last bit is earned . After page one, the pages are numbered sequentially but the bits are not. Every book is as different as the man who holds it.
    Go forth young man and fill your book. Extra pages are available but they have never been needed. Be the first man to need the extra pages.

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