My [31 M] Partner [32 F] constantly criticizes and insults me

My fiancée constantly insults me and it’s giving me major second thoughts.

We’ve been together for well over a year, and are engaged with plans to get married a year from now. We were long distance for half our relationship(seeing each other often), now finally going to be in the same city again. I come across as light hearted, very nice, well-liked by most everyone, and I feel like that’s how I am in relationships too. I’m established in my career and successful. The positives: Shes beautiful, has broadened my horizons in terms of travel and life experiences, has a great job and cool passions. However, I generally just do NOT feel good in our relationship. Here are some examples:

1. She never compliments me. She hardly ever calls me attractive or makes me feel wanted. I remember on one trip, she literally talked for minutes at a time about how hot and smart some guys her friends were dating were. She never calls me hot, only cute sometimes. I call her gorgeous constantly (because I mean it and I can’t help but say it). We sometimes spend upwards of half an hour making sure hee outfits/hair are good, but never anytime on me. She never comments on my new suits, shoes, style, haircut, anything. When I brought this up to her months ago, she seemed taken aback but reassured me I’m wildly handsome and that she’s very attracted to me. It changes for a bit each time but something about how she does it feels forced and not natural. Sex is typically once per day while we’re together, but we waited months dating before finally having it. She doesn’t sext, talk about sex, or make me feel desired. I’ve often told her how this makes me feel unwanted – she seems apologetic but again it feels forced.

2. She puts me down frequently. “I hate when you do this with your hair”, “why do you react that way when you eat something you like”. Even my family have noticed it. I’ve always felt I’ve been a very very confident guy, but for the first time I feel generally insecure and that my confidence has been sapped. Another instance – she saw a photo of me and some much taller and fatter friends and blurted out immediately: “OMG, you look terrible here! You look like a child compared to your friends”. I was nearly brought to tears. This was right after she told a story about how this “super hot guy” at work flirted with her and they almost hooked up before we ever met, and now this same guy is commenting on her ring and she’s like “shoulda made a move when you had your chance”. WTF. She constantly brings up my height as negative. When I’ve brought this up she feels bad but reassured me that height only mattered “to look nice in photos next to each other”. She has ragged on my career (saying how other people seemed better at it than I was) and my hobbies.

3. She never seems to help or support me emotionally. No small “I love you” texts, or small messages of support. Big life events (new job, house) etc – she has offered zero help with. At point, she exclaimed to “just shut up already!” When I was asking to bounce ideas of her for jobs. Yet when it comes to her things, the world has to stop. Her outfits, what to eat, composing a text to her friends, her IG post. I help her with all of that. I also have helped her secure a job – from start to finish. I can count on one hand the number of times she has genuinely dedicated time to my endeavors. She seems generally uninterested in my hobbies or going ons in my life. I’m worried that having kids may have me taking on the lion share of their responsibilities/ tasks in addition to hers, leaving mine to fall to the wayside.

TLDR: Not sure how to proceed. Our lives are intertwined but thankfully not yet to the level of marriage. I feel unhappy and generally like this relationship places a weight on my shoulders. Talking has made some progress but she seems forced in her affection. Past partners have made me feel like I’m king of the world, and there has been a strong, almost primal sexual urge from the beginning – which I definitely didn’t feel from here part here. I wonder if some of this is her inability to express emotions and warmth, rather than actual contempt. Her mother is a bonafide narcissist (by my partners own admission) and I at times wonder if it hasn’t rubbed off. Any advice? I feel like breaking off the engagement would be highly embarrassing to me, her, our families, and would be going back on a promise.