Men of Reddit, what else do you do at a urinal/toilet?

27 comments

1. Nothing. And I don’t like where this is going

2. There’s standing, breathing, swallowing saliva, blinking, scratch any itches, sometimes I tap my foot.

   ???????

3. Shit in it

4. I eat a sandwich

5. Urinal: aim to minimize splash and noise. (lots of physics involved)

   Toilet: contemplate about existence and answer posts and comments on reddit.

6. Fart.

7. Wash my hands with piss

8. I usually just keep my hands on my side because I’m tired of playing with my dick.

9. On the toilet? Sit and contemplate my existence while scrolling through social media

10. Urinal – get real close to someone else that is there before me, so I can stare at them awkwardly and start a conversation.

    Toilet – pray to the Dark lord to be released from his throne of torture, while making awful sounds so my neighbors are in wonder all the time.

11. Sigh and think about how shitty my life is

12. Reddit

13. Mostly spend time thinking about how much more enjoyable taking a scratchy peanut, burning hot sauce dump is compared to reading dumbass questions on reddit.

14. I talk with my best friend down there.

15. Hock a loogie in it

16. Make a covenant with God to stop drinking after throwing up tequilla for the 29th time that night.

17. Eat the cakes

18. What do you mean “what else”? We pee and thats it.

19. Try to figure out how their weird toilet paper system works

20. On the toilet I make the most disgustingly seductive noises while pooping. I’m a voice-over artist so I can sound as uf 3-4 people are inside one booth. Really freaks out the people outside . And dumbstruck when only I come out of the booth after flushing.

21. Not follow the rule of leaving a 1 urinal gap followed by yodelling loudly to assert dominance.

22. Masturbate

23. Play the aim game. Try to hit things in the urinal. You know, boy shit.

24. Wash hands

25. Cocaine, maybe.

26. I like to sit on the toilet in a public stall and slightly lift one of my cheeks and fart. It really gives the sound more bass and resonance. It even echoes. I especially like to do this when younger men or teens are in the bathroom too because it makes them laugh. When I come out of the toilet stall, I can see them trying to hold back their laugher. I pretend to ignore them and let out a, “Ahhhh,” and then shake my leg while being completely expressionless and act like I’m oblivious to their presence. I’m 70 so it makes it more funny as they are reluctant to say anything to me.

27. In public I do my business an leave at home I’m sometimes on my phone.