I (M21) just have one problem. I’m only 21 but I’m genuinely busy, I’m studying dentistry, I have a side job and I workout almost every day. I don’t have time to talk with my gf (F19) on the phone for like hours etc. we still text trough the day, every day, and meet up a couple of times a week, I asked her to go out and eat and she said she will see if she can. But she still complains that I don’t give her enough attention, that I don’t care about her, and that even if she is sad I still don’t care, but I do. And I told her I’m busy but she say that could still care more and I’m not like before. And before I didn’t study, didn’t have a job, and didn’t go to the gym so often, but NOW I’m busy. What should I do?
TLDR: I’m always busy with studies, work, or working out and my gf complains that I don’t give her enough attention and don’t care about her, even tho I do
4 comments
It seems like the way you want to live your life and the way she wants her boyfriend to be like arent compatible. You need to have an open discussion with her telling her the stuff you’ve told us and see what you can do to make her feel better (like texting more often or calling before going to sleep)
You explain to her that you care about her, but you need to balance a relationship with basic life stuff like studying, working, and taking care of your health. That either she accepts that or the relationship does not work. And if she wants you to sabotage your future in any of those basic ways, by not taking care of your education, basic financial needs, or your health, then you can’t be in a relationship with her, as she clearly does not care about you if that is the case. Whereas if she simply wants a partner with a better life situation, who has more to give her, you will understand if she breaks up with you, but you are giving what you have, and that’s all you can do, so you would like her to stop complaining that you aren’t richer, smarter, or not a biological organism who needs to take care of one’s health.
I was really busy at that age as well. It got to the point that I broke up with her. It sucked, but honestly, I never regretted it. We never got back together, but after things calmed down a bit in my life, I was able to find someone who I considered a lot better. And guess what. That one didn’t work out either. And that is fine, too. I’ve been married for nearly 30 years.
It sucks to break up with someone, but you may have to do it. It sounds like she has some immaturity issues that she needs to work on and you cannot fix these for her.
Easy answer is take off one of the days you workout. But also do more to check in on her during the day in ways she’ll appreciate. If she loves Tiktoks about outfits of the day, send her one and tell her she’d look nice in it. My ex was a med student and couldn’t be at his phone for hours. He knows I like nails so if one of his patients had really cool ones, he’d ask to take a pic for his gf (me) and then send “ooh look at these babe. Really busy today but thought of you.”
It’s simple really. Women rarely want ALL your attention just like hearing that they’re on your mind specifically.