My boyfriend (37) and I (29) went out for lunch yesterday, and I was a bit uncomfortable with the him and the bartender’s interaction. He’s not really a social butterfly, but he’s adaptable in certain environments. He doesn’t have friends outside of his family or job. We ended up doing a shot with the bartender. And before we left he asked for her Snapchat. That’s the only social media he uses. She happily handed it over. If he had a bunch of friends including female, I think I’d understand more. But I don’t even see us all 3 hanging. I’m actively on bumble bff looking for female friends, I’m straight so idk if that would bother him. But it rubbed me wrong. And it had little to with her. She wasn’t the most put together, looks wise. Still I feel a way. Talked to him about it.. and he said it’s a double standard lol. Idk how to not be annoyed. It makes me want to do the same in front of him or… not go out lol
TL;DR boyfriend was being flirty w the bartender.
6 comments
Where is the double standard? Is he “getting you back” for something? Unless the waitress happened to have a cool shared interest with him that he shares with people on Snapchat, this whole thing sounds like it was meant to make you react a certain way. Your comment that you feel like retaliating also makes it sound like the two of you have some antagonistic thing going on.
If he doesn’t trust you because of Bumble then you two have to work on that together if you want to stay together.
>He doesn’t have friends outside of his family or job
This should be a warning sign to you.
>And it had little to with her. She wasn’t the most put together, looks wise
And this should be a warning sign to anyone *you* interact with.
>Still I feel a way
What way?
Neither one of you sound particularly mature. I had to double check the ages on this post.
EDIT: Your post history, jeeze. Get out of this relationship and get into therapy.
I think you all should revisit the conversation so that you can gain more insight on his comment regarding your feelings.
Sounds like he did it to make you jealous as maybe he isn’t comfortable with bumble. Maybe you both need to start up some new hobbies to meet new friends or get involved doing volunteer work and meet people as a couple etc? Why don’t either of you have an existing social group?
It may be harmless. Myself and few friends flirt with strangers all the time. It doesn’t mean too much.
You should bring up the fact it makes you uncomfortable and if he’s doing it hard around you have a sign or way to communicate that, so he can tone it down.
One day ago you were asking strangers if you should move away from him while he’s out of town with work because he got physical with you. Today you are asking if you should be ok with him getting another girls contact info….