I started going back to school (basically like an almost uni in my country). I met a girl who at first I wasn’t really into but now 3 weeks later, I kinda fell (is my type atc) but I do this every time (which annoys me in this situation). It’s only for one year but I am really not focused. I would try to “date” and friends said there is some interest. Only issue I got is we are in the same class. How do people deal with this?
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After living with several women over the years, I have stopped idealizing them. They are just people, regular people. When they are great, they are delightful, but for the rest they are just normal. Experience is what has made me realize that initial thrill is just an illusion. That excitement has its place later on in the relationship when you know you can trust her and when you are connected to her.
Be friends. If you’re both into it and you’re hanging out together it’s going to happen. If it doesn’t happen you can still be a good friend. If you’re not hanging out that’s a sign too.
In short I don’t try not to fall, I try not to impose too much when I do.
Experience.
The more you date, the more you realize that those mouth-noises she’s making (I love you, you’re the best, you’re special) is a script and programming she’s replaying. She’s said the same thing to all the men before you, and will say the same to all the men after you. And that, when you do break up, there will be a shockingly short amount of time until you’ve been replaced completely. Within weeks or months of the breakup (assuming she didn’t have a guy waiting already before breaking up), she’ll have a new man – you v2.0.
So you don’t fall too quick by remembering the cardinal rule of dating and relationships:
“Whoever needs the other least (or who cares least) has all the power.” The one who’s willing to walk away first, or who cares the least about whether it works out, is the one who will be least affected and bounce back fastest from the breakup. And since ‘time’ is the only finite resource we have, the one who moves on quickest is the one who makes best use of that resource.
You protect yourself from falling by keeping these things in mind. If you don’t fall, you don’t get hurt.