I never thought that I’d be complaining about this… but here I am lol. My boyfriend’s penis is too big for me. No matter if we use lube, or do foreplay, it always hurts a lot.
The first time we had sex I was still a virgin and it was extremely, extremely painful.
I’m not sure how big he is exactly in inches, but he’s very large. And I’m pretty petite- 4’11 and 90 pounds which doesn’t help.
How to we make this work? Are there any techniques that can help make it less painful?
5 comments
Is it length or girth? If length is the issue, they make something called an “OhNut” that will shorten his strokes. You can also experiment with angles and positions.
If it’s girth, there’s not much that can be done other than working your way up to his size with dilators/toys to try and get used to it. Lots and lots of foreplay and lube is also key. Maybe even more than you already do.
Well unfortunately this does happen..
How about starting the penetration with something else than his penis? E.g. fingers or a dildo or vibrator that’s more suitable to your size? In that way your vagina gets stretched and prepared a bit.
Physical incompatibility is a legit and faultless reason to split uo, just saying.
If it doesnt help to be super turned on and lubed up, i dont know if youre gonna find a way to work with this.
You definitely need to be really turned on. I recommend using a vibrator for a while after foreplay and use lube.
Okay so you could find a smaller partner or go see your doctor. Both of those might be good choices.
Or you could work on getting used to your current partner. Vaginas do stretch to accommodate larger dicks and babies, but it’s usually a process that involves some discomfort. We’re not just talking minutes here, but possibly weeks.
During this time, try to have sex several times a week, because frequent sex helps maintain your ability to accommodate him.
I have been through this process, and here’s what worked for me. Start by having lots of foreplay, so you’re practically begging for him. Then:
– use lots of lube, way more than you think
– work up to his size with a dildo that’s smaller than him but a bit uncomfortable for you
– have him enter slowly, pausing occasionally
– use his pauses to breathe through the pain
– try to relax and accept the feeling
– have him pleasure your clit while inside
– you want your brain to associate penetration with pleasure
– once the pain lessens, have him thrust gently
– continue pleasuring your clit until you orgasm
The first few times, you might end up lying there for 15+ minutes before your vagina relaxes enough to accept him with less pain. So you might have to finish him another way while you’re “training” for PIV.
In each session, practice penetration for as long as possible and try to make it pleasurable so your body is more inclined to relax next time. If you’re patient, you should be able to stretch enough to be pain free. But it could be a few weeks or months.
And if he’s a kind partner, he’ll be willing to help with this. Gentleness and honest communication go a very long way here.