TLDR:I think I have feelings for one of my closest friends, and something is telling me I should tell her and see what happens, but I’m scared it will ruin our friendship if she doesn’t feel the same.
I (21m) think I’m pretty close to my friend (22f). We work together, which is how we met, and we talk a lot at work. We of course talk outside of work as well, but mainly over Instagram messaging or Facebook group chat, rather than going out and actually meeting.
I’m not really sure of my feelings for her. She’s really funny and kind and she’s so gorgeous, but I’m scared to say that I’m ‘in love with her’. When I first met her I admit I was instantly attracted to her, but pushed that aside because I thought she’s now a work colleague and plus she would never get with someone like me haha.
I find myself feeling jealous when she talks about being in dating apps or hooking up with people. I tried myself dabbling around with things like Tinder but gave up as I’m not really the hook-up kind of person.
We recently went out as a team and got a meal then went for some drinks. She got a little tipsy, and some people in the team were trying to get us together. I joked to her about this and she said she wouldn’t be against snogging on if I hit on her, then quickly corrected it by saying she would with anyone, not just me.
I completely get she was a little drunk but silly ol’ me is looking into it way more than he should. I don’t know what her feelings are for me, some of her friends say she likes the attention I give, whereas some others say not to bother. I know she’s not looking for anything serious right now, so I’m unsure how to approach this, if I should at all!
Another ‘issue’ is that I do think she likes me or an extent but I think there’s a few things that are off putting,we’ll say. For example she likes older men but I’m a year younger, she always would like to date someone who doesn’t have the same name as her ex (which I do haha) and I think that’s a big issue for her, even when we met I think it out her off talking to me, which I can kind of get.
I’m just a little unsure of what to do now. I don’t know why but I feel like I can’t keep my feelings bottled up and should do something now.
1 comment
Please don’t confess feelings to her, and do *not* use the l-word. If you think this is worth the risk it entails (because frankly, even if the feeling is mutual, dating a coworker can turn really ugly) ask her out in a casual, no pressure way. “Hey I was thinking about how fun it is for me to be around you, and it occured to me that I would like to explore the possibility of us being more than friends. So I’d love to take you out on a date. I was thinking dinner/drinks this Saturday. How does that sound?”. That way you are making your romantic interest very clear without causing awkwardness or causing her to feel backed in a corner. Because trust me, even if she does reciprocate your interest, doing a feelings dump on her and even using the l-word before you’ve even had the chance to go out on a date with her, will probably make her feel pressured and uneasy.