I just turned 22 and feel that I’m too old for a fresh start.
I dropped out of college in June 2019, to try something different, but I failed within a few weeks, and since then I’m doing nothing. These last 3 years I’m just sitting at home and watching movies, scrolling social media and doing all sorts of things. every day I used to say to myself that I will change my life, I will become healthy, and I’m going to start tomorrow. but never did anything. I’m a complete failure in life. I’m from India, and in here getting a job is not easy because of the huge unemployment issue. Whenever I saw someone successful I try to look for how old they are and start comparing if we are similar age then I feel very very depressed and if they are 3-4 years or more elder than me then I feel okay I still got time. I can achieve that. But in actual life, I’m not doing anything, and I know that I’m too afraid to start something, I am from a rural area and also don’t have the confidence to talk to city people because I feel they are too smart.
For the last 9 months, I have listened to countless podcasts, watched lots of interviews and created some great useful notes, honestly if somebody wants to do something this notebook will help them a lot because I make it very briefly and it is useful. But I’m not able to do anything because I have never done anything in life. In my school days, I never did anything, I used to study before the night of the exam, and I used to copy every assignment from my friends. I never put my mind to anything. I don’t know how to do research, how to make a project, or how to work on anything. I’m a very emotional guy, I usually get overwhelmed in situations rather than thinking analytically Or logically. like every day I watch a film and I cry, even if it’s 2 min emotional scene in a 2 hours comedy movie. I grew up watching television and films.
I always feel like this is it. I’m not able to achieve anything. I don’t know what to do. sometimes I even feel like suicide but I don’t have the courage to do that.
38 comments
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Hate to drop you with the obvious, but 22 is way young. Plenty of time to reinvent yourself, start a new life, whatever. Even 30 or 40 isn’t too late. You’re going to change anyway later in life. We all do. Take advantage of your youth now.
In your twenties, reinventing and playing around with your life is what you should do I think actually
How do you support yourself financially?
No it’s not too late. That is so young! There are people in their 50s reinventing themselves.
I’m over 50. Reinventing myself after a crushing defeat. Realize I control me and can do what I need to do to better myself. You can do it. Take the time you need and focus on you. You got this. I started with weight. I now weigh less than I did in high school.
I’m 28 and only just starting an access course so that I can get a degree. I have no idea how to do anything academic as my only experience in education has been in art but I’m just going to learn from scratch. That’s what the courses are there for! 22 is super young. You’ve got this! Pick something and run with it and if that doesn’t work out then pick something else and run with that instead. Keep doing that until you die. No such thing as too old.
My friend you are so young. I didn’t start my career until I was 30 and I’m going back to school again to switch things up because I’m already bored (32 now). You can do whatever you want, when you want to. Don’t listen to society. There are no rules to life.
I’ve done new things in my 30s (moved to a different state) 40s (lost weight, got my MBA), and 50s (retired and became a certified fitness instructor). Opportunities don’t stop until you’re dead.
Never too old
You can change the course of your life at any age. 22 is far younger than most.I didn’t even start thinking about my life properly until much later into my very late 20’s. I then changed my life mid 30s and again in my 40’s. You’ve got ages left, don’t sweat it
No
Changed my life at 24 and done it again at 28
I how not. 48 and doing it again
Saw the headline while scrolling and just had to pop in and say….NOPE! 22 is so damn young.
Can you share the notebook?
MOST people have to reinvent themselves in their early 20s. They finish school, or change jobs, or start careers, or move to a new location. They leave high school friends, college friends behind and start fresh. At EXACTLY your age.
And, it won’t be the last time in your life that you’ll need to do it. Nothing wrong with feeling a bit melancholy over the need to change and how daunting that feels at first, but no matter what has come before, it’s still time for a WHOLE NEW LIFE.
Good luck!
Of course not.
I’m in the same boat reach out to me if you need someone to talk to man
I knew an 85 year old who finally divorced her abusive controlling husband, got her house back, reconciled with her adult kids, and even found a great bf—
It is never too late.
Your challenges are different you know that. Right now is harder, but you have started making an effort!!
Keep looking for small steps. Talk to other people. You don’t have to build everything yourself, find people you want to work with. Support eachother.
It’s never too late. Be who you want to be; you’ve got the rest of your life to live.
You’re brain isn’t even fully developed till your mid 20s so you’re still young. I decided to make a significant life decision in my late 20s by switching to a whole different industry for work after getting a masters degree and working in that field for a while so you still have plenty of time to change your life.
It’s natural to compare yourself to others, but 22 is super young and you’re not even supposed to have your life together at that age, so don’t worry about being behind or anything like that.
Doing nothing is not good though. Is there some other form of education you can do that is less intensive than college? Something that would have less of a mental barrier to enroll in?
Absolutely very young and you have plenty of time. I dropped out of college and started playing music at 22. I had a lot of great experiences!! Now I am 36 and just got out of a 10 year relationship and have to start all over again!
Its part of life. You experience a portion of your life and then you need to move on
Dude, i am 52. I start my life over again every day. As long as i am a little better each and every day. You have a few more “resets” yet to come. Life is a mess sometimes, its what gives it brilliance. You have to have the lows so the highs have meaning. You got this
This is going to sound obvious but just start doing something. One simple thing is exercise. You don’t need a gym membership to work out. Do 10 pushups a day, then start doing 20. Go for a long walk or a run. Do absolutely anything that makes you feel just a little better about yourself.
I saw a quote that stuck with me. “confidence doesn’t come from muscles or money, but from keeping the promises you make to yourself.”
Lmao no. You’re barely an adult, the world is your oyster
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahaha.
You’re kidding right OP? You are 22? What do you mean again? You haven’t even started your life, yet.
Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. You are on your own path. Just keep moving forward.
Read the book the defining decade. If there is any age where change can be made it is our twenties. Although we can learn at any age, our twenties is the best time to make the changes that we want for ourselves.
You just learned to walk like 20 years ago… There’s more time left for you, bud
I agree with all the comments here that it’s not too late to make a change.
One observation I have is that it seems like there might be mental health challenges contributing to the situation. I’m not a professional and can’t come to any conclusions based on the information above, but it might be worth seeking out counselling.
My dude, I got out of the Army and *started* pursuing a Computer Science degree at 25. So to answer your question, no, it’s not too late for a fresh start.
Yes. You’re far too old. Might as well just pack it all in.
🙄 Come on now. You’re still a baby.
Nah, I restarted at 30. Get therapy, learn to process the ongoing horror that is reality, get rid of the paralyzing fear. If you’ve been suicidal, embrace that you can do literally ANYTHING. Want to walk down the street screaming about the sky martians and their polka dotted hats? No one’s stopping you. Want to become a master programmer in Cobol, go for it. You’ve already contemplated the final desperate measure, decided against it, and now no matter what happens (embarrassment, failure, success, fulfilment) your baseline is “didn’t die today.”
The first thing to do (other than finding a therapist) is make a collection of vague improvement statements. “I will make healthier eating decisions”, “I will watch less tv and watch youtube tutorials to learn something I’m interested instead”, “I will make sure to have a conversation with 1 stranger a week”, that sort of thing.
Then, every time you’re presented with a choice (what am I eating tonight?), make the choice that aligns with your improvement goal. Are you going to eat that slice of leftover pie, or a salad with chicken? If you make a decision that goes against your improvement, move on and make a healthier decision the next time.
You can work yourself into specific patterns like a diet or college degree program later, just work on coming to a healthy baseline for now.
Edit: As to comparing yourself to your peers, they have advantages you don’t. Maybe they got financial assistance from family, maybe they got tutors in school, maybe they just had a more stable home life or better brain chemistry. I won’t say “don’t look at what your peers are doing”, because it’s human nature and should help push you to do better, but look at how your peers are doing what they’re doing, and 9/10 times there’ll be something they have access to that you don’t
You are still young and have you whole life ahead of you. Each day is a chance to improve. Try and go back to school. Try and find a job. Making finding a job a job. Wake up in the more and for 8 hours look at job listings, walk around businesses and ask if they’re hiring, work on your resume, practice interview questions in the mirror/record yourself. Also find time to get exercise, workout and generally take care of yourself. This is good for both your physical and mental health.
You could do this for months and not find a job, but hey the fact that you trying and getting mentally ready and practicing skills puts you in a much better position then you were months ago. Each day is a chance to improve.
22 is still incredibly young. You’re only four years into adulthood. If that was already too old then I’d hate to think what too young looks like.
Take it from someone who had to reinvent themselves twice before turning 30: you’re never too old.
The issue is probably that you’re getting paralyzed by how big the task looks to you. Everyday you wake up and think, “I’m going to turn my life around.” Obviously, that is incredibly intimidating so you put it off until tomorrow. Break things up into smaller pieces that you can tackle more easily. Start analyzing yourself, what you like, what you’re good at, who you know, etc. You say you’ve got a journal so start applying some of that to your own life.
It’s not written in our DNA anywhere that we’re supposed to go to college at 18 and have our lives figured out by 21. Lots of people take alternative paths to success, so just start working towards *something* and you’ll be better off than just watching movies.
22 is literally the time where you start your life. You’re not starting over lol you’re just beginning
Yes, if our lifespan was 22.1 years. I was in the same shoes, I’m also 22 years. Had nothing and still dont have much. I was depressed, I thought I couldnt do anything in my life. I had no skill, no friends and highly overweight. I tried to change myself for almost a year and failed miserably every time and hence got more depressed. I also used to think I am too old for change.
But I made change to my mindset. My thought process was: Well it is very hard but you know what is hard, feeling like shit every time I look at mirror. So, i started small, i would used to spend just 30 min for career, walk for 20-30 min once or twice a week. Even that was hard. But slowly (almost a year), i could do better.
I wish I could say now I am riding mercedes and have six pack with model girlfriend. But what i can say is I am doing better. Little better than yesterday. I still fail all the time. But I am like meh, and get back it again. One little step at a time. I am still overweight, but I can run 1.5 km more than before and lost 2.5 kg, that’s a win. After a year of months of job hunting, i landed an internship, a week ago, what a win. As for friendship, I can say I developed some good friendship in past year. I’m far away from my goals but I am excited that I am doing something, little thing at a time.
TLDR: You are in a downward spiral. It takes time for a change and it is very hard. Light at the end of tunnel seems unattainable. But you have to try hard. You will fail countless time, take a deep breath and take one tiny step, dont go hard on yourself, you have one life. I wish you good luck in your journey. Focus on a journey, not a goal. My suggestion, make a goal: I will run up to x km, I will only eat x amount of junk, I will work/study x hr a day for my career within a year. Take tiny but consistent steps.