I (25F) am a virgin and as single as they come. Up until tonight I hadn’t tried masturbating either because i never felt the urge to. My first vibrator came in the mail today and I thought I’d give it a go.
One hour later and still no orgasm. I got a little fluttery and definitely was turned on but I just couldn’t get there.
I feel deflated and defeated, also embarrassed. I suffer with anxiety and I feel like that may have blocked me. I’m concerned that when I do find the right guy I’m not going to be good at anything let alone be able to get myself off.
Does anyone have any help or advice?
12 comments
What kinda vibe did ya get? And how were you going about using it?
Practice makes perfect. Relax. Don’t put pressure on yourself. The more you do it the better you get. It will happen and it will take some time. Enjoy practicing and the good feelings it gives you.
Patience, please. These things can take a while. If you find the right guy who knows how to give oral, that’s also a good bet for you. Take your time and be patient.
No need to feel embarrassed, keep exploring. Try different positions/speeds/etc. Just keep practicing. Nothing to feel weird or ashamed about tho. đź’ś
If your ok with watching porn try looking up videos of people using the toy that you have it might give you some ideas on how to use it. Plus porn can be a turn on for people you just have to find your style.
Like with anything practice makes perfect. It may take you some time before you achieve orgasm. But you will get there.
Hiya! As someone who also got into the whole masturbation later than most, I had the same experience. First couple of days I didn’t really know how to use it, how it worked or anything. But one day I just hit the spot! Maybe I was in the mood more, or something but I got there.
maybe don’t approach it as something you have to do so you can be with someone. Go into it more as something you do with you, and for you. Masturbating is a way of having great times with yourself!
“You must learn to crawl before you cam walk”.
Don’t expect to get to the orgasm when you have no experience, it’s normal. Explore your body and how you get more aroused, and you will arrive there. And enjoy the process!
It took me a LONG TIME to figure myself out, but eventually it just clicked. Trial and error, friend. Also, your (first) sexual partner should be open, honest, and respectful. Sex is only as good as the comfort level, in my experience. Good luck and keep at it!
You’re driving in LA, not the Indy 500. Until you get the hang of your body, it will be hit and miss, once you get to a certain spot you’ll know that is the spot. I’m not sure if it’s the same for everyone but my body gets real hot and then I almost black out when I cum, it’s an amazing sensation.
You are not going to have the most amazing experience the first few times, it will take time to explore and find what feels good. I’ve changed masturbation techniques so many times over the years and some have given me no orgasms, some have given me orgasms and some have given me the best orgasms in the world.
Before you start make sure you’re not going to be distracted. Think of it as self care time, like doing a face mask or having a long bath. Anxiety may be making it harder and that is something that you will only overcome with experience of using the vibe or exploring your body. There is no need to orgasm everytime. Don’t see orgasm as the goal, see feeling good as the goal. You said you felt fluttery, I’d see that as a successful first time using a vibrator.
You don’t need to worry about how you’ll be with a guy either, focus on exploring your own body and when you’ve explored your own body more you will know what you like. Being with someone else is also completely different to masturbating with completely different sensations.
Just becuase you’ve struggled this time doesn’t mean you’ll struggle every time and just becuase you’re struggling to orgasm masturbating doesn’t mean you’ll struggle to orgasm with someone else. Bodies are weird and wonderful things, they need time to find out what’s best.
As a guy, I’d be just open and honest. Communication is key, the right man will understand and learn with you. Everyone is different and needs different techniques to orgasm. It took me a few weeks to figure out how to properly masterbate. Lube does help a lot if you’re having any dryness or want some extra protection from rubbing. Any discomfort can become a distraction and make it more difficult.