It’s not that hard. I see so many people complaining about being ghosted and then do it to other people they’ve been on dates with. Be better, stop ghosting. You can’t control other people, but if everyone controlled themselves then people wouldn’t be unnecessarily ghosted.
I’m not saying there are zero situations where ghosting is warranted, but those are the exception and not the rule. Can we please stop hurting each other?
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Well, I don’t exactly *like* being ghosted, but I do prefer it to some of the other options like:
1) “sorry I’m just really busy with my cat’s hair appointments and don’t have time for dating right now”
2) “sorry but I’m really looking for someone taller and more in line with my expectations regarding professional earning potential”
There’s a third option, of course, which is “sorry but I didn’t really feel a connection.” I actually prefer ghosting to that one, too, cuz if she ghosts I can pretend she got hit by an asteroid or taken out by ninjas.
I do it for safety. Better safe than sorry so I just always ghost.
What I usually tell people I’m not feeling it with is “I’m not really looking for anything right now, sorry”. They get the idea that I’m not down to see them and I don’t need to be an asshole ans ghost em over it. Plain and simple!
If I have any reason to believe a guy will get violent, verbally abusive or stalk me I ghost đ»! And rightfully so.
If he has never given any indication of violence/verbal abuse/stalking, I kindly tell him and let him go.
Hard disagree. I ghosted in my dating years because women get murdered for saying no, because I got tired of the long drawn out conversations about why this isnât working, because this isnât a negotiation this is a break up, because a lot of times these people werenât worth the effort. People want to bring up getting closure or anxiety, those are all âyou problemsâ. You arenât entitled to anyoneâs time. If you got ghosted either reflect on yourself or come to the realization that they just werenât that into you and you need to get over it.
Honestly a simple âIâm not really feeling itâ is enough! If they ask why you can explain briefly? And if they donât like the answer you can stop responding and then eventually block.
People say as women ghosting is safer but actually if there is a real risk of backlash it isnât necessarily the best way to go. If theyâre rude or weird then I ghost, but I think itâs still best to express the boundary before ghosting
I think it’s like **some** women view abortion: “it’s real bad but I did it for perfectly valid reasons”.
A lot of people are perfectly fine with hypocrisy.
If you have no problems ghosting people, then you don’t get to complain if you get ghosted after sex.
If you can’t show basic respect to people, don’t expect to receive any form of respect beyond that.
So if you donât care about ghosting, itâs fine to do it?
Have the inner strength to be ghosted and move on
For a little while I sent the generic âsorry Iâm not interested in going out again.â Then guys would ask me why so they can do better in the future. That always turned into them freaking out on me. So now I say Iâm not interested and immediately block. Itâs not ghosting and I donât have to play dating coach and punching bag.
anyone who cares about ghosting at all needs to mature past 15 years old
It’s a by product of our current society that revolves around social media. It’s a lot easier to block someone than actually talk about your feelings, especially if they are negative.
For a generation that is all about acceptance and tolerance, there are quite a few of them that still consider this kind of action acceptable.
Thank you for this!
I have actually never ghosted anyone and I can say that in 98% of cases I receive âpositiveâ , respectful response when I communicate I donât want to see the person again. Itâs really not that hard!
After seeing many of my girlfriends doubting and questioning their worth after being ghosted I always push my male friends to say something. I do the same with my girlfriends of course, but somehow in my surroundings men have bigger issue with that because they are scared woman will turn psycho.
I told someone I wasnât interested and he kept pushing me and got pissed off when I maintained my boundary, and when I blocked him on everything I knew him on, he still found a way to message me and continue to try to push me. To me, he didnât deserve my explanation and I didnât owe him that time or explanation.
If you know the person well enough and they never showed any signs of anger would be best to tell them instead of leaving them wondering.
However if you donât know the person well I could see the reasoning for ghosting.
I’m fine with being ghosted, so thanks for permissiom to go ghosting :^)
I love ghosting, I’m good at ghosting!
Seriously now tho, ghosting kinda happens if conversations turn boring. It happens specially if you start feeling like you’re the only one engaging the conversations.
Hmm yeah it turns out people like to talk shit about other people’s poor behavior but won’t actually do the right thing when it’s their turn.
Iâve never ghosted anyone and I was ghosted twice on this last round of Bumble. One girl before a date and one after dating for 2 months. Iâd be more upset except clearly neither woman was a contender.
Nobody is actually hurt by ghosting you all just hate rejection and use ghosting as an excuse to vent frustration
I must be the minority because I rather be ghosted if someone wasnât feeling me. No answer is an answer.
The only appropriate time to ghost someone is after you’re dead.
I ghost a lot because I don’t know how to respond, or because I feel pressured. I genuinely am scared of how people react đ„č so I just delay it as it brings me stress.
With that said, I usually respond eventually and explain, and they already know I’m taken.
It’s tough tbh and oftentimes unintentional if I’m speaking for myself. But as a fellow ghoster I will never get upset if someone ghosts me.
“You live by the sword, you die by the sword” đ
Yup, I donât ghost. If I get ghosted, I just assume that they had shitty character and itâs better it ended now.
Some people want to hurt others. it’s about undealt emotional pain. and projection .
True. I am a type of person who prefers closure even if the obvious answer is no. Communication is better than the lack of communication in relationships, even though you end up at the same answer.
Fuck ghosters.
I’ve only ever had to do it once, and it was because the person I was talking to would not understand that I didn’t want anything beyond friendship with her. There’s a time and place for it, but definitely not everytime.
I’m not active in the online dating scene right now but I will say my number one wish is that anyone who wasn’t interested in me if I write a message to them that they just say something like “thanks for your interest but I’m not a good fit” or something along those lines. That feels so much better than the cold empty no message deal . Ghosting is terrible, especially the like with no reply ghost, the worst!! But I also understand why sometimes no reply is easier and less opportunity for backlash. It just is a harder pill to swallow on the other end.. The online dating etiquette needs to change. Some people put a lot of effort into it and it can be really shameful.
Getting ghosted is a normal part of life lol
True
I tried to be the nice person too many times and give people reason for why things wouldnât work out.
60% were reasonable reactions. 40% deferred immediately to awful and saying downright awful, sometimes terrifying, things. At the end of the day, we each have to look out for our own mental well-being. If I only went one one or two short dates with someone, they will survive being ghosted if I didnât feel a deeper connection.
Ghosting is a defense mechanism for some people. Especially women. I dont fault people who feel uncomfortable with someone or unsafe and ghost said person. Some times itâs best to do that.
But of course depending on situation yeah it sucks. But nothing you can do about it and best to just take it with a grain of salt and move on
I just started telling people I’m not interested and if they haven’t made contact in two weeks I just remove them. I know two weeks isn’t long but life is short to be waiting around for someone.