So I’ve been seeing this guy and we’ve been going out weekly for the past nine weeks, we have fun and have great chemistry. We’ve had two sleepovers but haven’t slept together yet.
Honestly we come from different cultures, but I am ready to sleep with him its just I want to know if we are on the same page and see ourselves getting in a long term relationship at some point (it doesn’t have to be now)
On text:
His response was something like this “i guess we’re still open since we haven’t really talked about it, for now i enjoy the time we spend together and your company”
I proceeded with yeah its just I’m starting to catch feelings but i want to know if we are on the same page at least
He said that its best to discuss in person what we both want.
Now.. I need help, I know what I want and I will tell him that. I don’t want to invest on something if we aren’t on the same wavelength, I just don’t know what to do. Maybe I brought it up too early? But I’ve just came to a point where I feel that I see myself with him long term and I want to know what.
I’m very anxious right now and not sure how to react when we meet..I’m kinda worried that he may start to back off but also thought it is what it is.
5 comments
>I know what I want and I will tell him that.
Nothing more to it than that, and believe me: he’s already made up his mind about you so it doesn’t really matter how you say it. If he’s going to reject commitment (or beat around the bush) he was always going to do that, no matter how you phrased it.
I’d prepare for him to tell you he just wants a casual thing. You told him you had feelings and he didn’t reciprocate, rather her told you that it’s better to talk about it in person, delaying it and causing more anxiety. 9 weeks is absolutely not too fast at all.
You need to have a serious sit down and explain if your not going to be exclusive you have to go feelings aside there’s plenty of people who would be exclusive from date number 1
This is why I always recommend the 3 date method
Date 1 Awkward it’s the hellos boundaries and exclusivity talk
Date 2 bringing up what they want to be and how they plan to achieve that goal
Date 3 are we actually compatible if our goals don’t align we need to reconsider if it’s worth putting time into
“for now i enjoy the time we spend together and your company”
you re just an option, he’ll leave when another girl who’s more suited for his taste will appear. Be the bigger person and leave him first. You deserve someone who truly wants you, not just an replacement for his future girl
I’m sorry.. but his response speaks volumes..
Don’t waste anymore time. Instead find someone who is looking for the same thing you’re looking for.