As the subject reads.
Been seeing this guy this summer who is a “reactor” to texts generally. Not all texts but it’s normal for him. Sometimes it’s in lieu of a response and sometimes it’s in addition.
We’re both away this week and last night I asked him if he’ll be back for an event next weekend that I wanted to go to with him. He said yeah he thinks he’ll be back and will confirm soon! I responded that either way I hope to see him soon. He didn’t respond only “hearted” it.
He’s done this from the beginning where if I say anything (in text – in person he’s far more expressive of his feelings than I am) like “excited to see you” or “miss you” he’ll heart it but not respond. My sense is it’s his way of acknowledging but not having to reciprocate to lead me on.
Guys I’ve dated lately have been less of “reactors” like they rarely used that function. If I said something about how I was feeling about them and they couldn’t reciprocate they’d ignore it lol. But I saw a huff post article from 2019 termed reacting without a response “soft ghosting.” So trying to get a sense of how others use this function when dating. If it’s just an easy way to respond or if it’s way to soft ghost or in this case acknowledge but not reciprocate.
7 comments
Gotta pepper in reactions and insert messages when appropriate. I like a nice even blend but also depends if I’m at work and busy. Rather just heart or !! that shit
Oh I would do this. Interested to see if this is considered rude. I do it because I struggle with verbal affection and generally with finding texting kind of overwhelming.
Edit to add: I have been told by more than one dude that they couldn’t tell if I really liked them so I think you’re not alone in finding the behaviour confusing. Imo, ask him. I was always surprised when I was giving off mixed signals (and I always hear people say that mixed signals are a “no” but mine aren’t) and I appreciated the chance to clarify my feelings!
I use reactions all the time to acknowledge things in a way that doesn’t make a big deal out of it. Sometimes because I’m not comfortable expressing the same emotion or whatever at that moment but appreciate it, sometimes because “me too!” feels unnecessary and boring. Or sometimes I’m responding to other things substantively and a “me too!” plus the separate substantive response seems unnecessary but I want to acknowledge it positively.
I don’t use it to lead men on, at all. If anything I use it to provide positive feedback without making a thing of it.
I _love_ how many texting apps have added reactions recently. As someone who had trouble exiting a conversation without officially ending it (such as saying “okay I have to focus on work now, have a good day” – which gets repetitive after a while), it allows me to acknowledge their final message without writing a (redundant) response.
As for your specific example, I would take his hearting of the message as him “saying” that he also hopes to see you soon (or at least likes that you are hoping to see him soon!) but he doesn’t have the info yet so he won’t respond until then.
👌
I use reactions when I don’t have the bandwidth to compose a full response. Most things people message me don’t merit full sentence replies, anyway.
Also, stop reading Huff Post articles.
I think I apply reactions as a acknowledgement, but not one made so seriously, that would warrant a response?
Can be ripe for miscommunication.
A thumbs up from a younger person? “Cool story bro”. From an older person? “Like or acknowledge”. For someone in their 30’s? God knows could be either they’re between both extremes.