Hello, so I could use any helpful advices to improve my sex life. I have a very high sex drive, and I can easily get into many different fantasies and do it often.
My GF on the other side, is the opposite. My gf is desinterested about sex or trying anything new whatsoever! Don’t get me wrong, if I start playing with her, she easily gets horny and we do it, and we even do it few times a day if necessary.
But the problem lies within that it’s always ME. I always have to have the initiative to do it, and when it comes to the rest, I have to ask for everything. Like if I want a fetish, I have to ask, if I want a blowjob, I have to ask, if I want other position, I have to ask.
This is really killing me. We have been together for nearly a year, and I don’t want to imagine my life where everytime I have to ask her to do it, because if I don’t have the initiative, nothing happens, and also, for her one position until I cum is more than enough, and I think it’s really boring if it’s this way all the time.
How can I improve her sexual drive and make her more interested and curious, and also with the initiative that I need to have a happy and less boring sexual life?
Is it even possible? Or it will always be like this?
PS: She doesn’t take the birth control pill yet.
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TL/DR : My GF likes sex but only when I have initiative to do it. If I don’t ask for it, she doesn’t start anything whatsoever. How can I improve?
2 comments
You can ask her to initiate more and discuss active steps you can both take for a more innovative sex life, but this kind of thing takes two.
Hopefully she’ll be on board for it!
>start playing with her, she easily gets horny and we do it
This might be what we call responsive desire.
https://enagoski.medium.com/pleasure-is-the-measure-d8c5a2dff33f
> Spontaneous desire is the standard model, and it can be healthy and normal. Responsive desire is another healthy, normal way that people experience sexual desire. Instead of emerging in anticipation of sexual pleasure, like spontaneous desire, responsive desire emerges in response to sexual pleasure.
Give that a read and then share the article with her, it could give you some interesting things to talk about.