My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. At the start of the relationship I was happy. She made me so happy. But I’ve been struggling with my mental health for a while now. And my dad brought it to my attention that it’s probably because of her.
He told me that whenever I’m not talking with her on the phone with her (we’re in a long distance relationship) I seem like a happy and normal kid. But whenever I am on the phone, I seem sad and do nothing else but lay in my bed all day. What he said got me thinking, and she’s done some things I haven’t realized before. She yells at me for seemingly no reason at all, she gets mad at me for the smallest things (spending time with my friends for example), she only wants me to spend time with her and no one else.
Not only that, but she’s a hypocrite. She’d spend alone time with guys, go to their houses to smoke. But if I even talk to another girl she instantly thinks I’m cheating on her and makes me cut off all contact with them.
It seems like she also doesn’t put as much effort in. I always feel like I’m initiating all the conversations. She says she misses me, but I’m always the one setting times to spend time together. She also puts all of her problems onto me and I have no problem listening to her but she makes me feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulders at all times. She makes me suicidal sometimes and makes me want to cut myself. Sometimes I do.
It’s really upsetting. Im really caring, sympathetic, and all I want to do is help people. But I feel like she takes advantage of that. I want to leave her, but at the same time I still love her and I don’t want to hurt her. But Im really struggling with myself and I have to go to counseling. Any advice is appreciated.
3 comments
It hasn’t even been a year and it’s long distance. You’re self harming! This is an emergency! End it.
It IS going to hurt, and if she’s as manipulative as you say (yelling at you, being hypocritical about friendships), she WILL try to make it harder for you.
Practice saying that it isn’t working out. It’s just not working out. You are ending things.
For your mental health I think you need to end it. She doesn’t treat you well and as a result you’re either feeling sad or feeling suicidal. She’s not good for your health over all. Listen, it’s going to suck at first when you break up with her. However, get your support system in place to help you get through. Your support system can be your family and friends. Please look into therapy as well, so they can help you with her through the break up along with maintaining your mental health.
My ex-husband treated me like crap until I had to leave for my sanity. As soon as I told him, he started treating me like a human again. I didn’t know at the time that his girlfriend of 7 years had just separated from her husband and he didn’t have the guts to talk to me about it. So, with that said, I would have had a little more respect for him if he’d have come clean before he decided to take the passive aggressive approach to breaking up and causing me emotional damage that took a very long time to heal. I think a direct and honest approach is the best way. But from the way you describe her, any approach is probably going to be met with an unhealthy mindset. However, the long distance angle does leave the door open for an precisely worded email and the possibility of ghosting. I know it’s not the mature way to handle it, but when dealing with toxic people, you have to protect your mental health at all cost. Good luck!