Torn between two people.

Long story short, I met this guy about a year and a half ago (let’s call him Mike) and I really liked him. He lives an hour away from me, and the first time I met him I instantly fell in love. We are similar in every way, nationality, the way we think etc… When I told him I liked him he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and kind of wanted to keep it at a friendship level. I believe he was looking for a relationship and I wasn’t his type but he was too scared to tell me that. I was hurt at first, but got over it after awhile, and remained friends. This happened from May 2021 – November 2021. Fast forward to November, I finally found a boyfriend that I really liked (let’s name him John) and I told Mike because he was now my best fiend. Everything was fine, I didn’t really like Mike as much anymore because I loved my boyfriend John but deep down I still felt like I liked Mike just a tee bit. My boyfriend goes to school in the same city as Mike, and I would visit my boyfriend a lot during his time in school and me, my boyfriend and Mike would always hangout and I loved our time all together. Fast forward, My boyfriend started doing stuff that I didn’t like, and every time I had a problem and told Mike about it and he would agree with me and comfort me and I loved that about him. Long story short, 2 weeks before me and John broke up, Mike told me that he liked me and it flattered me. But when we hung out alone and did stuff together, I feel like I miss John even though he hurt me a lot and now I don’t feel like I like him anymore. John was heartbroken when we broke-up, we work together have the same friend group and when he isn’t in school he lives 10 minutes from me, and sometimes we hangout alone, and we flirt, kiss etc… I feel like I’m leading both people on and I really don’t know what to do. I can’t tell each one that I still hangout with one another or else they’ll both be very upset. I want both of them in my life. I told my ex-boyfriend about me and Mike and he was heartbroken and said that he shouldn’t have done that because we were all friends. I don’t know what to do :(.