I get so anxious and cant think or be as witty or confident truly off my game, how can I get that back when I am having trouble??

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  1. So that anxiety is just energy. When you go to the gym and pump up, it hurts a little, but the mind says that’s a good pain. Anxiety hurts a little, and the mind says this means I am not confident and off my game. This needs to be retrained, so first, just look at the sensation and see it’s just some energy in the body.

    As for the thoughts, these will take some time to re-train, but they must be retrained. The idea that it is necessary to be witty is a mistake. Witty is fine, but don’t mistake it for confidence. Often it’s a defense mechanism to mask insecurity. No need to be witty.

    As for being confident, there is some misunderstanding here about what confidence means. Often there is this idea that confidence means absence of fear or something like feeling proud or strong or excited. Those are fine, but confidence is just being ok with whatever arises. So, like at the gym when you pump up and are ok with the burn, if you just let the burn of anxiety be there in your body and relax the body, then you are confident. In fact, it’s sexy to be calm and composed in the face of fear. Professional athletes and fighters do it all the time. Mike Tyson said he was “terrified” every fight. But his mind was not trained to equate fear with weakness. Instead it used the fear as motivation. He was the champion of the world.

    Different perspective for you.

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