Hi there,
So my friend (20F) and I (21M) have known each other for about a year and became close friends about 6 months ago. Our relationship is close and intimate, but it was never more than just being friends. I mean, I do find her attractive, but I didn’t want anything more, also because I was in a relationship of 3 years until a month ago.

Anyway, we saw each other a lot in the last two weeks, and yesterday we had a very intimate night together. We were at my place, drank wine until 5am, had a deep and personal conversation, and then went to sleep in the same bed. Nothing happened (this is not a decision you make at 5am), but it felt like something could happen. We’ve had intimate moments before, but this was the closest we’ve been, I think.

I think I should talk to her about this, but I also don’t want to make it weird between us. What if it’s all in my head?

Also, in case I’m misreading things, I don’t want her to think that I’m friends with her just because I thought that something could happen between us. This is not the case.

I don’t even know if I want a relationship with her, I just got out of a big one and being alone is good for me. But I also feel like there’s this elephant in the room that needs to be acknowledged.

So, first question: Do you think that there’s really something there?

And if so, how should I approach this conversation?

Thanks!

TL;DR- I feel this sexual tension between my friend an I and I don’t know if and how to talk to her about it

2 comments
  1. If there isn’t “something there” you two are certainly setting the stage for something to happen.

    Step 1: stop acting like a couple if you’re not wanting to cultivate couple vibes.

    Hang out, have your deep conversations, retire to separate sleeping quarters.

    If you’re friends who have such deep conversations you should be able to say “I enjoyed the time we spent together the other night, but I wanted to be clear that I wasn’t looking for something to happen. I value your friendship and I want us to remain close, but I don’t want to mislead you or have any misunderstanding about our friendship.”

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