What’s the dating scene like in your country?

6 comments

1. I think the dating scene is healthy and open, *generally speaking*. Most people date within their social circles, meaning either their friends, or friends of friends, though dating-apps like Tinder or Grindr are also widely used, and ofc. hooking up after a night out is also common (though this usually happens within aforementioned circle(s) of friends). Among younger people, dating often, though far from always, starts as a hook-up; it is the funniest way to do it, though, as said, it isn’t always like this.

   I don’t think dating is marriage-oriented. While there are tax-benefits to marrying, most people see marriage more as declaration of love than a goal in itself. A lot of couples never marry, but are together for decades, and have children and grandchildren.

   I doubt American cultural influence is widespread in dating explicitly, but implicitly you could say that American dating-apps, like Tinder or Grindr, do symbolise some sort of influence.

   Regarding interracial marriage, it should be noted, the population of Denmark is extremely homogenous. 86,1% of the population has Danish background, meaning that interracial relationships are still somewhat rare, simply down to population sizes. That said, they do happen, and the vast, vast majority of people are completely fine with it. Ofc. there are people (mainly men, fathers) who don’t think their daughters should date, especially, men with background in or heritage from culturally muslim countries, though these are rare, and, at least in my social circles, even the most ardent opponents (let us call them what they are: xenophobes,) are turned over and come to accept their son-in-law.

2. We don’t “date”
   You meet people trough friends/family/school, you usually hang around in groups, you message on WhatsApp until you realise you are now in a relationship.

   Although I have to say some of my friends have gotten tinder but that’s a spicier affair

3. Dating didn’t use to be a big thing among the younger generation IMO but then dating apps came along and made it easier. Most people I know still found partners through social events like going out, school, work, home parties, hobbies or through friends or friends of friends. You “hang out” until you are together, no real dates required. But a fair few met through apps as well.

   I think the apps and websites make it easier for those who are a bit more shy or introverted but it’s definitely no cakewalk. I got some good connections through those things but no relationships and ended up dating a former coworker.

   I feel like marriage is less important because a lot of the benefits you get legally by just living together long term.

4. In Germany you either meet people through your friend group, work or regular social activities. There’s no such thing as “dating culture” where people randomly ask each other out and have to specify that you are exclusive or something.

   “The talk” is usually just agreeing that you are now a couple after a while of seeing each other in case it was still a bit vague. lol

   It’s all very casual, so if someone asks you out to do stuff always assume friendship first and sexual interest waaaaaay later because progress is usually slow and many people just keep it at the friendship level.

   And if you expressed interest in someone but see another person at the same time and the person you like finds out it’s basically over unless you are into open relationships. Expressing an interest in someone counts as being exclusive with that person only.

   Marriage is also not a goal, most couples get married at some point because of tax benefits for married couples and because getting married is less bureaucracy than granting legal power to make decisions for you in case of an emergency if you aren’t married. Our divorce rates are low, because most people who marry get married in their mid or late 30s, so there are less “young and stupid + honeymoon phase” marriages.

   Hookups are a thing, basically Tinder. I don’t know anybody who used Tinder to find a partner, everyone who uses or used it just wanted to hoe around for a bit and wasn’t looking for love.

5. Pretty good, I’d say. It’s fairly similar to what u/TonyGaze describes for Denmark in that people tend to get together through their social circles, dating apps or just after a hookup and hookups are also a common starting point for people that start dating (although it definitely doesn’t always start like that).

   >Are people more open to meeting each other in public or through apps?

   Apps have definitely gained a lot of ground in recent years. Meeting through a dating website wasn’t/isn’t uncommon either, but apps like Tinder or Bumbl have become hugely popular. People definitely still meet a lot in public or at parties, but meeting through an app is far from niche anymore.

   >Are hookups a big thing or are people more marriage oriented in dating?

   In religious areas it’s definitely more marriage oriented (on the surface atleast, cause hookups are pretty damn common there as well), but overall I’d say there isn’t necessarily a big focus on marriage anymore. People just want to have a good time with eachother and while some opt for marriage when the time’s ripe in their eyes, others might opt for a registered partnership or just simply wanna keep things more casual.

   >Has there been any influence due to American culture?

   Not significantly, I’d say. Maybe some aspects of the dating culture you’d see in tv shows has seeped in a bit (such as a bit more formal “dates” for some), but overall I’d say the dating culture is most similar to other European countries.

   >Is interracial dating big in your country or do people stick to people from their own country?

   I don’t think you’ll find many people that have a problem with it (although you have racist pricks here as well), but most people tend to stick with people from here (I think that’s more due to the fact that there are just more “native” Dutch people living here. More fish in the sea and all that). That said, in my friend circles I think about 50% of the people are dating/in a longterm relationship with someone that was either born abroad themself or whose parents were born abroad.

   >How common is marriage and divorce?

   The amount of marriages is declining. It’s still a very common thing, but the amount of marriages has more than halved since 1970 despite the population growing with about 30%. Registered partnerships have become increasingly popular though. When people do marry, they tend to marry a lot later in life than they used to (more around their early 30s, instead of in their early 20s).

   Divorces are common, but they have declined somewhat in the last 3 years. In 2021 7,8 in a thousand marriages ended in divorce.

6. It’s fine i guess, dating apps are popular and I personally like using them as I’ve met lots of great people through them regardless of whether those relationships worked out or not, hookups are definitely a thing although lots of people choose not to partake in that, interracial dating is pretty common too, at least in cities and both marriage and divorce happen are pretty common. I think the idea of it being a wrap for the younger generation is absolute shit, sure social media is a bad influence for some but there are plenty of younger people in happy, successful relationships.