I (25F) just recently got dumped by the guy (25M) I was dating for a few months because he said he can’t give me certainty on his feelings growing for me to the capacity of a relationship. I’m struggling to get past this, as during my time dating him he would always tell me about others girls all over him. I had even caught him lying once about a girl he said he met a few months ago at his bar and turned out he had met her a day before we had that conversation.
Despite this, he made me feel love like I’ve never felt before even though I’ve been in 3 previous relationships and he was everything I wanted in a partner. Although we never made it out the talking stage and gave each other exclusivity, this has made me entirely question my self worth and I don’t know how to move past it. Knowing that he’s going to talk to girls who are everything I’m not, such as artsy and beautiful. How have you been able to move past someone you’ve dated who made you question your self worth?
3 comments
Easy, date other guys
Yea in my first relationship when I was 17. Made me question a lot of things about myself and took me a while to move on. I realised it’s easy to create an illusion of love for the first few months when everything is passionate and fun, but in the long run commitment is what keeps it going.
Maybe you’re not an artsy girl, but those artsy girl he’s talking to are also missing some qualities that you have. The key is not to fit yourself into some mould for others, just keep building yourself up and find someone whose type is someone like you.
A few months is little time spent to filter out someone that isn’t suitable for you long term. Allow yourself to reminisce for a bit, spend sometime on your own and hope the next one will be better. All the best!
Everyone is the star of their own show so it’s easy to take it personally. But think about all the men in the world you don’t have feelings for or wouldn’t want to date. It’s not because they’re all disgusting or horrible, it’s because they’re just not the match for you. Women in particular get hung up on wanting everyone to be obsessed with them, but that will never happen. There’s a lot that goes into chemistry and feelings and compatibility, a lot of it is subconscious. Not everyone is a match, and that’s good because when you find your actual match it can be quite magical.