My boyfriend and I have had a really tough year, traumatic events with our children (which is better now, yay <3), money struggles, depression on both ends, weight gain, having to roommate because of money struggles (we a grateful but damn does it suck sometimes having to share space with others), more bickering than usual, car troubles, employment issues. We love each other a lot, he’s a damn good man, we’re not going to split. Things are slowly being remedied and we see the silver lining but this year has really beat us down and we both feel like just, roommates. How can we fix this? We want to have fun again. I’m really hoping after all is said and done and the pressure and stress is gone that things get back to normal.
Tl;dr: my bf and I got dealt some shitty cards this past year and lost our spark. Still love eachother and have no desire to break up.
2 comments
Hi! Hopefully I can give some insight. Try to spend time together outside of your home, plan a weekend getaway or just a simple trip to a beach/lake or town. You can also try a new hobbie together such as hiking, swimming or letter writing. I like to write little notes for my spouse, you can do this and leave the, spontaneously. Try to kiss more, touch and maybe go on a date night where you can talk and spend time together. This was short but hopefully it helps. Good luck <3
Using metaphor, the spark is there to kindle the long burning flame. Right now, you are at embers, and looking for another log.
You need to create new positive memories and activities together.
Make an agreed habit, that the last words you hear every day are I love you, make it a point to find a time of day that you each check in with positive words only. Remind each other verbally and in simple, how much you mean to each other. Make an effort. Expect the same effort in return.
There are hundreds of ideas for bonding activities. Pick one, or even write some down and throw them into a bowl to do together.
Little things add up. Waking up to a coffee treat, or finding the bed nicely made. A scheduled daily text at break. A little sticker on a soda can. Both of you can do these things. Both of you can then note and appreciate the thought and meaning.