Women who cry easily or who feel emotions deeply, how does your SO respond when you’re crying or nervous?

17 comments

1. He just holds me and lets me cry it out. Never makes me feel like I’m crazy and always makes sure I know that my emotions and crying are allowed.

2. He comforts me, gives me a hug, and talks to me in this really impressive way that is both grounded in reality with facts WITHOUT making me feel invalidated. He’s really good at making me feel better both about myself and about whatever is upsetting me, I love the shit out of him.

3. She sits with me and holds me while I get it all out. Then she’ll ask me if I want to talk about it. Normally the answer is not right now since I need about 20 minutes after a good cry to organize my thoughts. She gives me that space and then we talk. She listens and gently offers me another perspective.

4. Somehow always manages to make me laugh without distracting or dismissing the problem at hand, topped off with some extra hugs and snuggles of course.

5. My spouse is incredibly supportive, and very knowledgeable about my various struggles, so they always ask me what I need, or do what has helped in the past, like holding me, complimenting me, telling me I’m loved, etc.

   They’ll also sometimes do some kinky sadomasochism with me (at my request, obviously) to help me reach an emotional catharsis if I really need to just get it all out.

6. He does his best, but he definitely is uncomfortable.

   I grew up with extreme emotional abuse (from my mother), and as a result now, when my emotions hit a certain point, it’s just a river coming out of my eyes. To counter the complete lack of emotion I was shown all throughout my childhood, I feel deeply in all directions.

   My husband grew up with a single mother and sister, and his grandma and aunt were very present as well. They all took a very “you’re the man of the house” and “boys don’t cry” type approach to things with him. So he doesn’t cry. And because of the environment he was raised in, he also views crying as a manipulation tactic (his mother is constantly using the “oh, ok… I guess that’s fine” method to get her way). He gets uncomfortable and frustrated at how easily I cry because he doesn’t know how to let himself cry.

   He’s since learnt that I can’t control my tears and there is no “planning” behind the tears, but the engrained frustration and distrust still exists (which he is working on).

   It’s the same that I did therapy when I was younger for years. When I would see my dad, I learnt to talk things out, and that’s something that continues in my life now. When there’s anything that comes up, you talk about it, you share your perspective of your own actions as well as your perspective of the other’s actions. You take ownership, you learn and grow, and you don’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations (and keep them respectful). My husband’s family is a perfect example of rug sweepers. Anything that isn’t happy sunshine and rainbows is swept under the rug. If someone shares something bad that happened, if his family didn’t see it, they choose to not believe it. My husband has learn to believe without needing to see it himself, but he is horribly uncomfortable with real talk and thinks any uncomfortable topic equates to an argument and that someone must “win”.

7. He gets nervous and wants to fix it but doesn’t know how so he reverts to hugs and cuddles mode.

8. Honestly he’s not great lol. He tries, he’ll sit with me and ask what’s wrong but I don’t think he knows how to comfort me, despite the fact that all I want is a hug. Idk maybe he just feels uncomfortable when I’m sad but wants to try to be there.

9. Depends on the situation. I happy cry, sad cry, angry cry, I cry at the end of Coco, it just comes out of me. He responds accordingly. I’m about to cry here shortly when he gets off the plane in a little less than an hour too so I expect a happy embrace and tons of smooches

10. He just hugs me and holds me and asks if I want to talk about it, he never pushes me if I don’t. But he’ll ask me what I want to do about it. Usually ice cream.

11. Holds me and listens.

12. I’ve known my SO for 4+ years. He’s seen me cry in classes over missed questions, being told I misunderstood something minor— he’s seen me cry trying to explain my point in every day conversation, and when I’m happy but smiling was too little emotion being shown.

    He lets me, he’ll console me for a moment, tell me it’s alright, and then poke a bit of fun at the situation in order to switch my emotions from being overwhelming and somewhat negative to giggly and the tears end up drying pretty quickly after that.

13. He usually feels it with me. We then comfort each other.

14. It’s varied with partners.

    Some have also been emotional so I can feel them empathizing and supporting immediately. Others are the opposite and go into fix it mode cause it’s all they know.

    I’ve even had one in the middle who learned my patterns and would follow the lead on how to make me feel okay.

15. He hugs me and sometimes cries too. He is pretty emotional too.

16. He holds me and feels like the safest place on Earth.

17. He holds me, and keep it cool until I can talk about the issue and then help me solve it