Where’s the worst place to take a dump?

42 comments

1. In the casket at a funeral

2. Pit toilet in a wooded national park. They’re really convenient because I don’t have to dig a hole, but depending on the season, you can expect to get your ass devoured by hungry mosquitos.

3. In your pants on a hot day at a themepark whilst in line already for an hour.

4. Preschool room

5. After Amber Heard?

6. Some rando dude I was golfing with recently took a shit in a bush on the course

7. I remember when I was younger we went to either a campsite or a park and really had to take a dump. When I walked in I was greeted by 4 stalls with no doors. Fastest nervous dump ever to avoid meeting the next person coming in

8. Burning man Porta-potty. Really any festivals Porta-potty is horrible but burning man takes the cake.

9. Bushes by side of bike trail with no wipes

10. On a dictators chest.. without his consent..

11. I would say while on the stand during a murder trial

12. You know the exit off the interstate in which there is only a single gas station?

13. In my shorts. Have done, wouldn’t recommend.

14. College Graduation while accepting your diploma, and it falls down your pant leg onto the stage.

15. The surface of the sun

16. Your neighbors chest

17. At the house/apt of your 1st date… Especially if it’s a studio.

    ​

    Modern Man Advice

18. On your own pillow.

19. A 5 star restaurant

20. Anywhere in public

21. A coworker had to shit at his first kids baptism. It was so urgent he couldn’t wait 20 minutes so he asked the priest if they got a toilet. Only toilet was for staff, to reach it you had to walk through their office. A nun or something had to accompany him and wait in the office so he wouldn’t steal something I guess. Well, he is a nervous pooper, he took almost 30 minutes and the priest got fed up with waiting for the man doing unholy things to his throne and continued the baptism without him.

    So I guess the priests throne at your firstborns baptism.

22. In the upper tank of a toilet. When you flush…

23. Nettle patch.

24. In your underbritches

25. In the tiny restroom of someone you just started dating and with no sound proof.

26. In front of 7 eleven

27. In the cupped palms of your own grandmother

28. While wearing white pants.

29. when I was 23 (hungover as heck), my first trip to Italy by myself – I thought that the bidet was a toilet. Part of the poop went down the drain, and I thought I could get it out with a coat hanger. I went and searched for one but they were the type that didn’t have a hook.

30. Father in laws Workshop…dont ask wont answer.

31. When someone is the next cubicle.

32. … Amber?

33. Your boss’s desk seems like a bad idea…

34. Minefield. Also outhouse in the wide open space and company of idiots.

35. at the curb.

36. At your girlfriend’s parent’s house the first time you meet them

    At some ones house while having a “one night stand”

    In a playground filled with children

    Your pants on a first date…

37. In a field toilet made from a folding metal chair with a hole and a toilet seat, in 20 degree cold, at a FOB in Afghanistan.

38. Any place that lacks a bidet

39. Uhhhhh my boss’s office?

40. In the shower😁

41. In your neighbor’s garage? I did this once when I was a kid and was hanging out in a neighbor’s garage while playing hooky from school. I pooped in an empty coffee can that I found in the garage.

    I intended to return to the garage later on and dispose the poop & can, but I ended up not getting around to it.

    I still wonder what went through the mind of whoever discovered it.

42. In the car on a family road trip, don’t ask