so yeses the title. I like to annoy my pals but lately I’ve been wondering if this is okay given that I am a woman and would prefer to be respected when I’m trying to relax around campus
Hence a few things:
– So there is this much bigger and heavier pal that sometimes pushes me out of nowhere when I’m hanging out with other people. :$ I don’t like it because it interrupt s whatever I’m doing plus I cannot push him to the side since I’m quite short and have a delicate frame. NOT FAIR
– I have this high energy pal that I ADORE with all my heart but sometimes contexts gets out of the window and soon I find myself making sexual jokes and I wonder if that’s wrong sometimes. There is no romantic vibe there btw. just being dirty minded for the sake of it.
Also today I was walking with some other ppl to class and he was in the passenger seat of his bff car who was looking for a parking spot on the road next to us, suddenly I feel this hand touch my backpack and it was his fucking arm coming from the cars window!
– quiet guy and I sent suggestive stickers to one of his friends, who replied with more suggestive stickers and so on. anyways some of those included smiley emojis with yellow dicks and funny phrases. his friend later on told me not to send such stickers because they ruin my reputation (?)
usually I would have laughed but dunno ,I feel a bit invaded. LIKE CHILLAX Y’ALL IM TRYING TO HANG OUT QUIETLY 🫤
edit: Im one of those people that loves hugs , I like resting my head on their shoulders, tickling them and run my fingers through their hair. I also massaged the scalp of this guy once but I’m on good terms with him and so far things are ok , the occasional joke about my procrastination habits (I make those fairly often too, I should stop tho). We are kinda close so it’s fine and I don’t think it’s inappropriate
9 comments
Your guy friends just wanna fuck it’s better you know sooner than later.
>So there is this much bigger and heavier pal that sometimes pushes me out of nowhere when I’m hanging out with other people
yeah i’d never do that to anyone, especially not women. i wouldn’t even do that to my wife, sometimes i playfully–lightly–punch her on the shoulder or arm, but that’s it, you don’t go around shoving people
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>I find myself making sexual jokes and I wonder if that’s wrong sometimes
it’s not that it’s “wrong”, but it could def give the impression there’s sexual tension between you guys
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>I feel this hand touch my backpack and it was his fucking arm coming from the cars window
eh, i mean as long as he isn’t touching you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable, it’s fine. what you’re comfortable with is entirely up to you, it’s your body and your personal space. just be sure to be assertive if it escalates, because some people don’t get the picture about boundaries and they try to push your comfort limits, so put a stop to that shit right away if something happens
personally i don’t touch my women friends except a hug and a little peck hello/goodbye, but we’re all different, it’s up to you
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>I feel a bit invaded
then please make that known and make sure they know you’re being serious, because some people just don’t get the concept of personal space, they think because they did something once it’s ok to do it all the time, or to take it to the next level
this is how lots of guys get pissed off and indignant, they think consent about one thing automatically means consent about other things, and then it’s problematic and suddenly YOU are the one being blamed and needing to defend your actions, and that shit is horrible
Well, with dudes it’s pretty much anything goes, so you just sort of have to decide that for yourself. A lot of women want to be ‘one of the guys’ but then find out what that entails and end up offended or uncomfortable. But you can’t poke fun and annoy and be playful with everyone but not expect them to do it back, it makes them feel like they’re walking on eggshells and it sends weird mixed signals.
>So there is this much bigger and heavier pal that sometimes pushes me out of nowhere when I’m hanging out with other people
You can ask him not to and explain why. Any good friend would knock it off.
>I have this high energy pal that I ADORE with all my heart but sometimes contexts gets out of the window and soon I find myself making sexual jokes
That’s fine for me personally. I have female friends with whom I do that too.
>quiet guy and I sent suggestive stickers to one of his friends, who replied with more suggestive stickers and so on. anyways some of those included smiley emojis with yellow dicks and funny phrases
I see no problem here either.
If you can’t ask them this, it’s not okay
I think as long as you make your intentions clear, it’s whatever.
If you give it out you make yourself a target.
If you want boundaries now the best way is to go to them and tell them AND OFFER THEM THE CHANCE TO LIMIT YOUR BEHAVIOUR.
I like to play games and fk with people but I also establish boundaries early in the friendship and keep the conversation open and ongoing about when enough os enough. I don’t always like being told when but I make a point of realising I have already over stepped.
Treat them like you would your girlfriends
If you wouldn’t do something with them, don’t do it with them
*I like resting my head on their shoulders, tickling them and run my fingers through their hair*.
This used to be called being a “cock tease”. You’re leading guys to believe you want to have sex with them.
Also if you have a BF and you keep doing this to other guys will drive him insane.