Say you’ve met somebody online or on a dating app. When you first meet for your first in person date, how do you prefer to say hi? A handshake? A hug? A European kiss on the cheek? Fist bump? Elbow tap? Bro shake? Head nod? High five? Curtsy and bow?

46 comments

  2. I’ve always hugged, because I think it’s beneficial to break the touch barrier right away. And I can’t imagine ever dating someone who wasn’t keen on physical touch.

  3. I follow their lead. Usually it’s a handshake or a head nod, sometimes the guy hugs me, but after my last dating experience I have decided that if I start dating anyone new I will try to hug them -to later make it easier to increase the physical intimacy/touch from there.

  5. As a woman, “heeey so nice to see you!” coupled with a wide smile and arms wide open for a hug! It’s genuine, casual and breaks the touch barrier right away. I mostly do it for myself because it puts me on a good mood and makes me feel comfortable from the get go.

  6. I always go for a hug. It breaks the touch barrier and if she does not find you attractive at all you’ll immediately know (most fo the time anyway I think) when you give her a hug.

  12. Generally a casualone arm hug. Handshake to me seems like we’re meeting for a business deal, haha.

  13. It’s crazy how everyone is saying they break the touch barrier asap! If someone I didn’t know tried to hug me, I’d feel so uncomfortable. I just wave and say hello with a smile. I’ve also never had a guy try to hug me at the start of the date, so maybe it’s just my area?

  14. It depends on how much we’ve already clicked through messages or calls and if there’s been some level of chemistry already established. Usually I’m down for a hug, but there have been times when it just felt like we hadn’t quite sniffed each other out well enough yet. I am not weird about being touched, but I’m not overly physically affectionate until I feel like there’s something substantial there. So it doesn’t occur to me to offer a hug in that interaction until offered one.

    So I guess that’s a quandary: wait to agree to go on a date until that hug-worthy connection is established, or go on a date before getting to that point negate you were invited first?

  16. The level of my nervousness parallels how embarrassingly I behave.

    On a date with a cute guy because I liked him but wasn’t particularly excited or nervous- Strolled in and said “Oh, hi!” and gave him a hug.

    On a date with a total hottie that I was pretty stoked about- “Did this weird dance walk and said, “What’s up, nerd” and gave him a hug.

    On a date with the holy grail of absolute dreamboats, who’s definitely way out of my league and makes me woozy- Did another even worse dance walk ending in some sort of seizure like jump spin ninja kick and said louder than necessary, “what’s up, fucker?!”

    Unfortunately, I am the worst. Fortunately, he likes me anyway and we’re seeing each other again tomorrow. 🤷‍♀️

    But now this thread is going to be in my head and I’m definitely going to start the date with a firm handshake and prolonged intense eye contact.

  18. In America, I did quick hugs (or super friendly wave, occasionally). In Southeast Asia, a really friendly/warm smile, though I had two guys there give me handshakes haha.

  19. I smile, verbally greet them, and wave. Sometimes I’ll hug at the end of the date, but I never initiate. I never feel that close that soon to hug, but I’m not a natural hugger. Definitely not kissing. I haves kissed, but it was more so not wanted to make guy uncomfortable.

  20. Do NOT go for a handshake. That’s insensitive. I mean, you can literary insult the other one by mistake and it’s just a funny memory afterwards. But a handshake? Wave your hand if you’re awkward. HI! ~°.°~.
    I remember that description of love in the book “name of the wind” where he grabs her tit. That’s how you don’t greet the other one.
    Go for a hug. Now for how long? That’s where you’ll make a mistake! :evilgrin

  21. It’s so weird to me how many people are saying they hug. I am super touchy with people I know, but all physical touch requires consent. A man assuming I want a hug is not cool. If they asked, I’d most likely say yes, though!

    Agree that handshake is a bit weird. I tend to smile and wave.

  22. I need to feel a level of emotional connection and comfort around someone before I feel the least bit comfortable being touched/hugged so all these I break the touch barrier with a hug immediately people are the worst for someone like me who needs a hug at the end of the first date when we’ve connected. After we’ve connected and are dating I’m likely to be the one hugging you to the point of it being smothering though.

  23. “Hi, great to meet you!” has always served me well.

    Honestly though, it depends on what country you are in and their socioeconomic background.
    In Japan, head nod. In US, high five. In Italy, kiss-kiss.

  25. I was so nervous meeting my now boyfriend for our first date (off an app so we were strangers and meeting app guys gives me extreme anxiety) that I sorta blacked out. we hugged but he claims I tried sticking my hand out for a handshake first. As we walked to the bar after in his head he was like “oh goodness this girl is awkward, what did I get myself into” 😂 it ended up being the best first date I’ve ever had.

  26. OKAY this question is SO relatable but I can’t help to LOL so effin hard.

    Normally I wave Hi and give a quick hug.

    Just for funsies though:

    A handshake? NOT for me; this gives me job interview vibes.

    A hug? Sure

    A European kiss on the cheek? NOT for me in amurika

    Fist bump? Elbow tap? Bro shake? gives me friend/bro vibes

    Head nod? LMAO sure

    High five? ehhh

    Curtsy and bow? ehhh

  28. ALWAYS a hug! It’s a date after all, not a business meeting. Personally, I’d feel a bit awkward if a guy greeted me with a handshake lol.

  29. I don’t like it when a guy asks for a hug as he’s going in for it. I have no problem with hugging upon first meeting but it’s the assumption that gets to me. I actually like hugging and I think it’s sweet when they ask and I agree 🙂

  30. I do a side hug. Full front hug feels weird to me. If I end up liking the guy I’ll do a full hug at the end.

  32. The only time I allowed someone to hug me as a first date greeting, it turned out to be the worst date I’ve had in my life. He proceeded to get touchier and touchier as the night progressed. Starting off with little taps on my arms and legs as I was sitting on the bench next to him and by the end of the night he was massaging my shoulders and pinching my cheeks. At one point he walked around in front of me as I was sitting down and scooped up my chin, pulling my face up to his, forehead pressing against mine, lips inching closer and closer and when he was within a second of kissing me I managed ‘too soon’ and he kept stroking my face with his fingers, I had to say it it again before he released my head and sat back down, only to continue massaging my shoulders.

    My stomach is knotting up as I type this. I hate myself for not speaking up. I was afraid to because I didn’t want to make things awkward, but I see now that he already made things awkward and there was no recovering from that.

    This is why I reject hugs at the onset. I know not all guys are creeps like this one was. But creeps DO use this method to break the ‘touch barrier’ and ‘kinesthetic escalation’ to manipulate women to where they want them and it’s best if I assert my boundaries from the start. The touch barrier isn’t getting broken until I want it to be broken.

  35. I’m a woman and don’t even really consider myself a hugger but I always find that that’s what I go for, haha. Men seem to either go for a hug or just wait to see what I do.

  36. My style is to give them options. Something like, “hey! Very nice to meet you. Do you wanna handshake, hug, or headbutt?” *Big smile and use your hands while you talk, open body language* it doesn’t matter what they say and it doesn’t matter if you touch. It just matters you feel into whatever you say during the greeting. That’s just my style though. I’m playful. There’s a billion correct ways to greet people. Just do what feels natural to you, everybody has attractive energy naturally, but many people are too insecure or uncomfortable to show their energy.

  37. Usually a hug and possibly a kiss on the cheek. If the date went well I normally end it with a hug & a peck on the lips

  38. From my experience, the first dates that later led to relationships were also the ones where we hugged very tightly as soon as we first saw each other. It’s not something I’m usually comfortable doing, but with them it somehow was.

    Bf and I hugged for about 30 seconds before saying a word on our first date. It was super comforting.

  40. I stand like an awkward teenager and just “hi”. It’s really hard. I might have a date tomorrow and I’m dreading it. What if he looks nothing like his pics? What if he is super weird? Or what he is wonderful and ends up breaking my heart?!

  44. First meet, usually a handshake or just a verbal greeting. I’m not big on breaking the touch barrier within the first minute of meeting a stranger on a date.

  45. I go in for a hug, but like a quick hug and if the date ends well I’ll got in for a bigger hug

  46. Obviously this is personal and you have to try to get a first impression of what the other person wants at the same time. But a big thing missing from this is context. Meeting online or an app can mean very different things. If it’s someone I’ve only exchanged a couple messages with and we set an in person date to meet and get to know each other early then I won’t be opening with anything physical. Probably something like “Hello, it’s great to meet you in person” to hopefully lead into a conversation.

    If on the other hand this is someone who I’ve known online for a while and we already know there is the potential for chemistry and at least the basic start of trust, then a hug is possible. Never expected though.

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