Instability in relationships

My boyfriend (24M) and I (20F) have been together for 3 years. Last week after a long period of stress, he revealed to me that living a relationship makes him rest on his laurels, that he lacks the desire to break the world, is too unmotivated and feels all heavy. He’s not sure about this, but he thinks that the reason for all these problems is having a girlfriend. I replied that he is so used to chaos and that his life must assiduously fall apart in some way, that any form of stability sends him into panic and kills him.I have always tried to fix our relationship every time because of his boredom he destroyed everything. He has always left the task of putting together the pieces to me. I’ve always tried to be comprensive with him and understand that he is just a different person and we are not the same thing, but this time I’ve been rude with him because I think that he was saying shits.

Then he started telling me that I didn’t know him as well as I thought, that I’m a stupid and boring person, and that I can’t complain about the fact that he doesn’t want to loof for or listen to me, precisely because of this. He started saying that he has always been able to offer everyone words of encouragement that were not empty, but when he needs stability or someone who knows how to direct him as he would like, no one is able to do it. He told me he’s been drinking like an alcoholic for a year and my best was just telling him ‘come on don’t drink’. He accused me of never really helping him, of not getting to the bottom of the matter by banning me from alcohol, from there I think he said the most significant words: when he tries to let off steam seriously, I get scandalized because I don’t know what it really means to go deeply into the issues, which I limit myself to seeing things on the surface without going further. He told me that when he was single he was productive and everyone always liked him, that he pushed himself to improve. He said to me ‘you not only can’t see this, which is the real reason for my depression, but you don’t even have anything to offer to solve it.’

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He obviously seemed out of his mind, and I understood that he needed to express his delusions and frustrations, he told me that he needs concrete help from me because otherwise a relationship of this type would not make sense. I believe instead that he attributed blame to me that do not belong to me, and he washed his hands telling me that I was not up to it or whatever, simply because he did not want to admit to himself that the problem was him. We theoretically broke up, in fact I think it is a pause to reflect and understand how to proceed. I’m not sure if the solution is to continue the relationship, first of all because it hurt me, and secondly because I don’t quite understand how he can say he feels good with someone if he thinks about certain things. After a few days he looked for me to ask me how I was, and to tell me that he does not want to make fun of me, but that he is going through a very strong period of confusion and sadness, and that he got lost in a glass of water, and that he wanted someone who reassured him and made him think with a clear mind, but that he came out on his own with his own strength and feels better.

All this talk to ask you: do you think it’s just confusion or should I seriously consider closing it? Can you say things like that in a moment of perdition, or does he just not want to admit to himself that we don’t do well together?