First time tomorrow night. What should I know?

5 comments

1. Tell her. Because if she has any sexual experience at all, she’s going to know immediately. You can watch all the porn in the world, you don’t know how to bang a woman yet. Much better to be honest. She’ll show you a few things.

2. Just be ready to go a second time and you’ll be fine. Ask her what she likes maybe..

   Have fun and be respectful. She is the boss unless she says otherwise..

3. all of this, but also USE PROTECTION. beware of stds too. oh, and have lube. a little goes a long way. also, be fully prepared to finish very quickly. when i lost mine, my partner was also a virgin, and he finished before he fully entered. so, bring multiple condoms, don’t apologize, and get ready for multiple rounds.

4. You keep saying you think she’s “bad”, but she’s still a person underneath it all, and it pays to keep that in mind. Don’t fuck it up by being disrespectful, don’t bad mouth her, or boast about having had sex with her to your friends, etc. She sounds cool, based on what I’ve read so far. So good for you.

   I tried linking to a write-up I once made for someone else in a similar situation, but Reddit won’t reliably let me create link to something that was that deeply nested, so I’m just repasting it here with a few minor edits (taken from [https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/sph1wi/how_do_you_have_sex/hwfso5t/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/sph1wi/how_do_you_have_sex/hwfso5t/?context=3) if you click in enough).

   Definitely buy condoms with lube. You also should buy a wide range of sizes (go to the store and literally buy every type of condom they sell, and find one that fits comfortably when you’re fully erect. Condom sizing is more about the right width than length btw, and the mm dimensions are about the packaging, not the width of the condom itself in case you end up wondering).
   You can use lube with condoms because some women need it (and a tiny dab on the tip of your dick before you put it on can make it feel better for you) but most people don’t do this and condoms are complicated enough that I recommend you just skip additional lube and keep things simple.
   Tear the condom wrapper completely open early on after getting naked so you don’t have to struggle with it when you need to put it on.
   If you haven’t already, straight up ask her if she has a sensitive clit or not. Just be open and direct. This makes you come off as assertive, and shows that you are interested in what she likes which is super important.
   A suggested basic screenplay for sex is as follows: you two are kissing, you fondle (be gentle though) her tits and squeeze her ass (you can be more firm, or even give it a light playful smack but don’t aim to hurt her until you know her preferences more). After a few minutes say something about wanting to see her naked, and assuming she’s into it (very important, that part – in fact through out this entire lot you need to pay attention to making sure she’s always cool with things progressing further, and verbal confirmation is always a valid approach), start pulling at her clothes and then expect her to get naked while you do the same.
   You may or may not be erect by now. Both are acceptable, but now you want to make her cum because you’re not going to be a selfish asshole. To do that you will either finger her or perform oral. Choose one. I will suggest fingering because it’s easier to describe and get right and still acceptable.
   You should both be naked on the bed by now, lying next to each other. As you kiss her or suck on a titty, move your hand down to her pussy. Slowly start rubbing her clit, which is just above her pussy. Now is the time to remember what she said about her clit (to be firm or gentle). If she didn’t give you as straight answer all you can do is start slow and pay close attention. As you rub her, move your hand down over her pussy, and it should start to get wet. Move your hand slowly but systematically back and forth. When it gets wet enough, you can start dipping in the tip of your index finger, and as you rub more (her clit, with your thumb depending on the angle), she should get wetter and wetter until you can get more fingers in. But slowly!! Don’t rush this part. Make sure you’re in a comfortable position as you do this because you will need to be able to do it consistently for several minutes.
   Then start doing the come here motion with your fingers to stimulate the g-spot as your thumb continues on her clit. Watch her closely. It’s okay to be more firm with her clit now unless she’s told you otherwise. It’s like the tip of your dick, you want to give her those sensations. Keep up a good slow solid pace and ask if she wants it faster or slower if you’re unsure. Absolutely listen to any directions she gives or shows you!! If all goes well, she’ll cum after 3-7 minutes. Do not vary your pace or angle or intensity as she cums!! Be willing to be assertive with what you are doing if she squirms but you will have to read the room as to if she’s getting too sensitive or just orgasming.
   Once she’s cum, it’s time to get hard if you’re not and to fuck her now. You can ask her to suck your dick if you’re not absolutely rock hard just yet. Don’t try to put the condom on unless you’re completely hard.
   Once you are, interrupt the dick sucking, grab the condom, roll it a tiny bit in your hand to make sure you have the correct orientation for the condom and roll it down your dick as you’ve practiced.
   Get over her in missionary position, and tell her to guide you in (it’s not obvious how to get in as you can’t see easily with the angles) then slowly, bit by bit, inch your way inside. Do not slam it in!! Then settle into a steady rhythm. Feel free to vocalize what you feel. Any time that things feel better than any other time? Let her know. Fuck yeah, you’re gorgeous, fuck me,.soft moans, those are all good options.
   Eventually you cum, after 2-8 minutes, so express yourself as it happens with moans or oh fucks etc. 5 minutes or so is average and the ideal.

   I do want to say that many women want you to come in gently but end up pounding them hard, once they’re super turned on. Definitely depends on the women though.

   If you cum sooner that’s not the end of the world. If you can’t cum at all or get soft before cumming, it happens. Don’t freak out. But either way, hold her. Especially if you came, hold her close and put your full body weight on her (she will be fine if you’re not morbidly obese) for about twenty seconds or more (read the room).
   Then slowly straighten up and slowly withdraw. Pull the condom off as the package advises, tie a knot in it and from that point on the evening is up to you! Wash your dick in the sink. But bring her a towel first if it’s appropriate for whatever reason.
   Don’t expect to be psychic. It’s completely fine to ask her what she likes while you try stuff out. Go with the flow!!! This isn’t how it will necessarily go down but it’s a suggestion to work off of.
   If she is a squirter she should let you know (and you can put down a towel), but don’t be an asshole no matter what.

   Try to match the natural sexual energy of the situation if you can. Sex is a partnership, and there’s a natural rhythm/flow to it that if you can tap into makes everything more fun! Enjoy her body! Focus on her positives! Verbalize what you genuinely enjoy. Praise her authentically (don’t be fake) and you’ll boost her confidence and you’ll both enjoy things more.
   Maybe look at at least one porn video beforehand (ideally one with amateurs and average looking people) so you have a mental image of what to expect, but don’t study it too closely so you don’t set yourself up with rigid and unrealistic expectations. Watching porn all the time is a great way to give yourself ED. So don’t fuck that up.
   IDK man. I really think you should just level with her and realize that a woman who is willing to have sex with someone is likely to still be willing to do so with a virgin. If you come clean she will hopefully understand and be willing to explore this with you. Lying in these situations is not recommended.
   Whatever happens, good luck, OP!

5. If you need more advice you should read the FAQ section titled “first time having ‘sex'” and search r/sex for “first time” and “virgin”.