Long story ahead, please
Oh god this is my first question on reddit. And this is so important to me because it’s literally 2 in the morning and I woke up all sweaty overthinking about this. I have been seeing this guy for 2 months now. I met him through hinge. A lil info about me. I’m 20 year old girl, average looking I’d say, have never been in a serious relationship before and v insecure. I know dating apps are not the place where you should look for love. But I wanted to give it a try. I’ve met 3 people before I met this guy. Tmi, I gave a bj to a person I met on the same app and I’ve mentioned that in a prompt of “2 truth and 1 lie”. Ok, so now the current guy, hits up on me through that prompt, correctly guessing the lie and we started talking. We went on a movie date, coffe date which was v v cute. He told a lot about him but I barely opened up because I’m naturally shy and boy that guy is fine af. He also said that he wasn’t looking for anything casual / hookups. He is also planning to get married in 3 years. I was a little happy that he was serious in some way and he was a the one who reached me out for the next dates.
The 4th date, he invited me to his home. We were watching the office together, having pizzas. It was honestly nice till he asked if he could cuddle. One thing led up to another and I ended up giving him a blowjob and made out for a long time. After coming home we talked for several hours about this and naturally a person who’s insecure and w no real relationship experience, after doing these things w him, got so attached to a point that I started to think about his 24/7. He texts me after 3 days saying he is sick ( also guys, he had a very traumatic past, he got sexually abused as a kid, his dad passed away, his ex girlfriend whom he loved v v much died, he tried to kill himself and ended in rehab and stuff, dw I checked if these are true stories). He usually gets depressed in this time of the year. I asked if I can visit him. He said ok. So I bought his dog some treatos and met him. He said he is financially unwell and he might move to another city for a new job. He also narrated some of his old stories.
Again we started watching the office and ended up doing the same things as we did last time. He wanted more but I didn’t know if I was ready to have sex yet. So I stopped him and he was fine w it. The next day, he msgs me he can’t see me anymore because of his health and he might permanently move to another city and start seeing other girls. I was heart broken but I sent a idc text asking him to take care. But I cried the whole day and ended up sending him a big ass text on how much I’ll miss him. I didn’t expect a reply back but he replied he was so sorry for this and I’m the best thing happened in his life in years and if I’m interested after he gets well, he’ll take me out on dates again. I was happy and thought I could wait for him for sometime. I waited for 3 weeks, we were still in touch, sending memes everyday. Literally we text everyday even now. I created a profile on bumble as I started to get tired of this and wanted to meet new people to distract myself from his thoughts. He saw my profile on bumble and msged me “look whom I found” at 2 am in the morning. Which means he is swiping. I don’t care if he was seeing other girls. I know we’re not a thing and he is free to do whatever he wants. But he sends a msg saying that if we start dating he wants us to be exclusive. He brought this out of nowhere, you might as well think he was sad that I promised that I’d wait for him and now started to see other peeps. I honestly texted w two guy and lost interest and deleted my profile. After this incident, he texts more enthusiastically everyday. He talks about cute stuffs and planned for movie dates at my/his place and the thought of meeting him again made me so happy.
The thing is, I’m confused if he wants me only for sex. Cuz I told him last time that we’ll do IT next time. And he is still UNWELL, why is he excited to see me. And I know for a fact that he gets super horny when the weather is cool. It is cool in my city rn and he jokes about his boner all the time. I desperately wanna know where this is going. Is this guy lying from the beginning? Because I come from a place where sex is taboo and my friends are telling me he is a hit it and quit it. Even though I don’t mind it, I still ponder over this more than I should and ended up having bad sleep. I’m going to meet him day after tomorrow for that movie date where we all know what’s going to happen. Should I go? Is this guy serious cuz he told me so, he said he likes being we me. Whenever I bring up my doubts about this, ie I’m worried if he is serious about this, he gets angry and defensive. Ok guys, should I go out w him and have sex expecting he would catch feelings for me Or should I block tf out of him and concentrate on myself for a while like my friends advised me. I need help desperately. I’m in the verge of tears. The thought of blocking him everywhere is so heart wrenching but my overthinking and his lack of communication is killing me everyday. What should I do?
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2 comments
> He is also planning to get married in 3 years.
ah, a ‘talker’ (maybe, all talk no action?)
> he had a very traumatic past, he got sexually abused as a kid, his dad passed away, his ex girlfriend whom he loved v v much died, he tried to kill himself and ended in rehab and stuff, dw I checked if these are true stories
NOT ready for a meaningful relationship imo.
He just told you he is going to move. He is telling you all of his past dramas. And he is teasing you about being on Bumble even though he said he is going to leave and date other girls.
Even if you have sex w him, it won’t be more than that. You can either have a good time and forget about him (harder option) or you can cut your losses now (easier option).