I (M26) met this girl (F25) from my job. We met on our first day back in office and smiled at each other from across the street walking in. We got along very great during work and eventually I asked her out but without actually calling it a date and we went for drinks. The night was great and then I asked her if she would be down to hang out again (again never calling it a date)
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We went out to dinner and hung out for awhile around town and eventually I told her that I was kinda hoping these were dates but I did’t want to pressure her. She said she thought they were dates too so we continued hanging out. We went out once more after that, had sex, and then went out a couple more times.
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We had been hanging out for about two months before she told me that she isn’t ready for a relationship and wants to be friends which I completely understood. We are still friends, hang out, talk and laugh like everything is fine. Deep down I feel like she might still be into me in a relationship way but I know she has attachment issues and our relationship might have scared her (she previously told me that she’s never had a guy treat her so well and has been single for 4 years because she didn’t like any of the guys she met)
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My question is: Should I keep pursuing her? Not in a pushy way, just making her know I’m still interested (So far all I’ve done is buy her little trinkets when I saw something that reminded me of her, texting her when I know she had a bad day, and ocassionally inviting her out with my friends and I). Or do you think this is a done deal and she’ll never truly come around to wanting to have a relationship with me?
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TL;DR: Girl said she has attachment issues and doesn’t want anything serious right now. Should I wait and drop subtle hints that I like her or just completely let it go?
4 comments
I’d let it go. Find yourself a lady who’s on the same page as you.
Let it go. Tell her you can’t just be friends with her and to come find you if she wants to be more than friends. Then cut contact. If she likes you that way she’ll come back, if she doesn’t you save yourself the heartache of being friends and always hoping for more.
Stop trying to meet people at work. Don’t shit where you eat.
If you really like her and don’t mind taking things real slow and casual for a while there’s no reason to cut and run. If you really want to, since it’s not a relationship, you can always see other people. If she wants a relationship later you can commit.