My husband has a female friend and I’d bet my bottom dollar she’d sleep with him in a heartbeat. She flirts with him in front of me, acts like my friend but then grabs my husband’s arm and teases him, they arm wrestle, literally wrestle around the house. I’ll catch her staring at him sometimes and its sickening… I have told my husband many times it bothers me and he tells me it’s cause “I don’t know how to have fun.” BS. No I just don’t appreciate you continuing to let her flirt with you right in front of me. To be clear, she is the one doing the flirting, but my husband doesn’t shut it down and leys it happen continuously. It’s so obvious that her 13-year-old daughter has told me how embarrassed she is that her mom flirts with my husband right in front of me and that she’s sorry for her…
Question: does anyone think that’s normal? That I’m uptight and in the wrong for being bothered? I feel like a lot of women would have a freak out…
This brings me to my own personal issue: When I was 19, I met this guy who I had a brief relationship with in person. tbh our relationship was pretty shallow, but for years we kept in touch after he moved out of state. We face timed all the time but never were actually dating. I know it sounds stupid but I literally felt like I got hit with lightning when I met him, I had butterflies in my stomach, felt on cloud 9 every time we were together and talked. We connected on some other level that I have never felt with another human being. Ever. Thing is we were both so young so it didn’t work out. I stopped talking to him when I was 24 for certain reasons. I met my husband at 25 and for years didn’t think about him much at all….Except the last month or so it’s been almost nightly that I have dreams about him and can’t stop thinking about him. I’m 30 now and have had no contact with him. However lately I’ve been having an intense longing to be in his presence, reminiscing on what I felt with him, what could have been.
I don’t know if I’m having all these thoughts and memories come up because I am scared of my husband hurting me so it’s almost like a defense mechanism to shield myself from pain. Like I have been nothing but faithful to him for over five years. Never flirted with another man, texted or messaged another man with any flirtatious intentions and been devoted to him. But I feel like none of it matters sometimes because he does right in front of me. So I let myself have these thoughts. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s my escape.
Just looking for idk advice? Am I a terrible person? What do I do with all this?
5 comments
My answer for how I’d handle this, would probably get me in trouble here….
He’s enjoying the attention and doesn’t care that it’s at your expense. Let him know that this behavior is destroying your love and respect for him and ask him if he’s willing to make changes to save your marriage.
He is continuing to disrespect your boundaries even after you’ve made them known and told him this is bothering you. He is enjoying the attention he’s receiving knowing it’s wrong.
I’d tell him to kick the bitch to the curb and if he can’t then I’d seriously consider leaving. It’s one thing to have friends but keeping a friend around that is disrespecting your marriage isn’t okay. I’m sorry you’re going through it and you’re not a terrible person by any means.
Do call out the behaviour. It’s disrespectful of both of them. Don’t contact your old flame unless divorced.
Your husband is probably sleeping with her already. He gets physical with another woman in front of you, and his defense is to insult you for supposedly not being fun?
This is not a marriage worth saving.