I (20 F) and my FWB (19 M) met online and consensually started sending nudes to each other etc. We both live in different countries so we couldn’t do anything beyond that.
Whatever we have going on has only been around three months, but we talk everyday, frequently even call for hours— heck sometimes even sleep calls. Not everything we do is sexual, we even went on for maybe about three weeks or more where we didn’t do anything, most instances was bc I say no, but this three weeks in particular we just simply vibed.
A month or two before we had a talk wherein we put a label on what we have which is just FWB which I am okay of, but I did tell him that I will be opening my doors once again and asked if that was fine. He said it’s okay and that I shouldn’t mind his feelings, he even admitted that he gets jealous sometimes I tell him stuff. He did say that he doesn’t think he’ll ever do LDR, but whatever happens happens… which again is confusing.
Lately, however, I’m feeling confused again due to his actions: he’s hot and cold. He gets super sweet and clingy especially when drunk, but sometimes in normal days when I shower him with affection I feel like he’s holding something back. But then there would be days where I feel super ignored especially when I know he’s online and replying to other people while leaving me on delivered (he does this more when i’m being affectionate). I told him before that i’ll stop being clingy if he doesn’t like it, but he stated that he likes me being clingy to him. And sometimes I feel like he keeps on making me jealous.
TL: DR!
There’s a lot more, but in a more summarized version, this dude and I have been acting more than just FWBs and I think we’re both aware of that, but whenever things get a bit better, he pulls back. And it’s confusing me big time and admittedly, even hurts me sometimes 🙁 He also wants to see me in person, but he makes little to no effort and I feel like he’s hiding me too from his irls. He’s a nice guy, but he makes me feel bad with his actions and some days it feels like I am someone just hard to love in general.
I have thought many times of dropping him, but I think I genuinely like him. Any advice? Do I drop? Do I ask again? Do I just play it cool?
5 comments
I think that having an “online FWB” who lives in another country, who you’ve never met, but who knows who you are and has a bunch of your nudes, is probably one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard on this sub. I guess the “B” stands for “blackmail” instead of “benefits,” because that’s what you’re setting yourself up for.
Jokes aside, this is honestly a bad and dangerous situation. My advice would be to try and let him down very gently and thank your lucky stars if your luck holds and this dude doesn’t do anything sinister with your nudes.
Is this ever going to go anywhere realistically? If it’s not going to happen this just sounds like something keeping you both from anything else.
I would talk to him about it if you want more. It could be that he doesn’t want a relationship but also doesn’t want someone else playing with his toy.
You don’t even know him though, he could be showing all his friends your pics, I hope your face is cropped out!
But, at the end of the day you don’t have much with him so asking for more and not getting it isn’t a huge loss, it just frees you up to find someone who wants what you do. If he wants the same then great! There’s really no risk.
I feel like this is a waste of time.
Can I be your online fwb? Lol
Nooo! Never send your nudes to strangers. For all you know, he might be selling them or sharing with other people. You’re risking your safety!