I was with a girl who apologized for getting too wet during sex. Her last bf apparently used to shame her for it saying he couldn’t feel anything down there because she got too wet and “robbed the feeling down there.” She would apologize anytime she got too into it because she felt like she was detracting from the sex by enjoying it. While she never explicitly said it, she made inferences that made it sound like he slut shamed her for enjoying sex too. I tried to set her mind at ease….never quite seemed to take though.
Oh the real kicker? She didn’t even get that wet. She was really just averagely lubricated down there (I’ve been with women who got much wetter, especially post orgasm) but she was apparently led to believe that anything that wasn’t drier than the Sahara was too wet.
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That’s a horrible story and so sorry for her. What an asshole for telling her those things. This plays into something very important. When i became sexaully active a much older co-worker gave me all kinds of solid life advice and particularly around sex. One thing he taught me, and I paraphrase: “never tease or get anywhere close to shaming a woman for expressing what she wants. if she gets enough teasing and shaming for it,, she’ll eventually shutdown.” I followed his advice and wow….I figured out what he was saying and I would even catch myself sometimes and address things better. Just in the simple act of initiation. Men talk all the time about wishing women initiated more. Well, if ever time she initiates and you say teasing shit like. “Well, well, well…..look who needs a little something,” that’s just not healthy……depending on the person. And my wife can be shy in certain ways. She can get a bit adventurous in general life and in sex. We were married for around 11 years and together for 14 and out of the blue one day she said, “I think I want to try anal.” I didn’t laugh. I didn’t tease. All I did was ask questions. “Oh….looks like you’ve put some thought into this. When would you like to try this?” And in the end (no pun intended) THAT was not for her and I don’t care for it either. She checked that box and time to move on. Not once did she feel shamed. Nor did I mock her for trying something a bit taboo. If I made a habit of making a BIG DEAL out of every question or new idea….eventually she would just not bother. Man……I can’t thank that guy enough for his wise insights.
One was paranoid about making any noise during sex because an early boyfriend had said, “Stop making those stupid noises”. There was nothing stupid about them, but I don’t think she ever fully believed me. It seems easier to believe something bad about ourselves than something good.
Her room/house. She did everything to try to distract me from her messy home/room. 🤣😂💀 She definitely was not expecting me that night.
I had a girl once tell me she was a skinny fat person and though to me her whole body was thin, she took a piece of skin on the lower part of her arm near her armpit and pulled it down and said look I’m fat.
From the POV of a “mixed kid”, I’ve come to believe that, generally, white women are more concerned with their weight than Black women.
The 1st white woman I dated, had an awesome figure. C-cups, a slender waist & nice, round grippable hips. But after having a few kids, she had a LITTLE BIT of a belly.
As we were lying there, post-coitus, she commented on her “pouch” & said, “I have rto get rid of this!”. All I could think was “Why?”, but then, I’m weird like that; I think a little bit of fluff is sexy-AF. Sorry-not-sorry to Kevin Samuels.
my ex did this to me hahah. traumatizing.
An old FWB didn’t like to take her shirt off and she knew I was a boob guy. Definitely annoying.
No matter how much I enjoyed hers she was self-conscious.
I had the same thing. I knew a girl who would get self conscious about cumming to quick even though she could have multiple orgasms. People are self conscious about the weirdest things,
Wow that’s super fucked up.
Was her ex Ben Shapiro?