Basically at work there’s a fairly attractive girl I ended up developing feelings for over the last couple of months. We work at Walmart and we work on the same team. Beyond looks she’s fairly accomplished in terms of how she handles her work which is also something I’m kinda impressed with. We don’t interact that much but we interact with a lot of the same people(both work related as well as similar friend groups). When we do interact I’m largely friendly and polite but try to remain aloof and detached at the same time. She is fairly nice to me and from time to time does try to initiate conversations with me(sometimes work related, sometimes not). When I’m working she does stare at me specifically a lot(though I pretend not to notice). When I do acknowledge her presence though she seems to “light up”, especially when we are lone and working together. Not really sure how to process that given the fact that I have now idea whether this person is actually interested or just being “nice”. Or whether this person is even available or has a significant other(which I suspect given the fact that she’s fairly attractive). Add this the fact that its work. Because of all of this I remain friendly, polite and helpful but also try to be as aloof and distant as possible if that makes sense.
2 comments
This kind of question comes up a lot. I’m that friendly, chatty and light up when interracting with people I like, type of person. Doesn’t mean I’m romantically interested, just enjoying the company. But if I was romantically interested, it wouldn’t look much different to be honest.
Question is, are YOU interested? If so, ask her out. In a way that clearly indicates that it’s a date (even if it’s casual date, like going out for coffee, or a walk). You don’t have to reveal your feelings. Just that you wanna go out with her. You’ll have your answer right away. If she’s not interested, you can move on, instead of being stuck potentially for months waiting for a clear sign that she’s into you.
Work place dynamics change no matter what. Either it’s because of you or someone else.
But maybe ask general questions relating to if she is available if you don’t want to ask directly. What things she does outside of work. Who she likes to hang out with. Does she have a pet. These are probing and could lead to her elaborating on her personal life just enough to get to what you want to know.