I also haven’t had social media for 2 years and stopped talking with everyone that I went to highschool with.
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I didn’t make any friends during my first year of college. I transferred to a new school during my second year of college + had a dorm to myself + took classes online. I transferred back to my previous school for my third year and stayed in a dorm with a very introverted person who only spoke with me a couple of times. And for my fourth year, i’m doing one semester from home and going back to campus for my third semester.
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I ended my relationship with my Mom 2 years ago (No one in my family likes her or talks to her). And I met/ended my relationship with my Dad almost a year ago (he’s a terrible person, none of my siblings talk with him). I’m living with my Stepdad for this semester, but he’s been in the hospital for almost two months now.
My mental health is very confusing. I hate being alone and I don’t know who I am when I’m alone. I feel like a floating orb. My sense of self changes everyday.
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I feel so strange. I forget what it’s like to belong or to be genuinely understood/seen by someone. Reality feels like a dream.
7 comments
Yeah your situation sounds awful like you have a lot of soul that you want to release and have it be be acknowledge but until there is someone who has that capability and wants to then it feels like you have a bottle inside of you waiting to pop. If you’re asking for advice what do you want to happen?
If you can, get professional support. Many universities offer therapy for their students.
On the other hand, do you have any hobbies or interests? Joining sport teams or clubs of something that interests you is a great way to meet people.
Also, did anything happen between you and your high school friends that ended the friendship?
Seems you have had quite a hard life so far. I’m sorry for that and obviously you need to change your social life from this nonexistant to… existing? You can’t continue like that, people are not islands, we need each other.
I suggest to find some sort of social hobby. And maybe going to bars/pubs where people your age hang out. Also, joining to social media might also help a ton because during pandemic times, that’s where people have started to make friends too. Also you can STILL try to reach out to your old friends. Yes it can be awkward, but I’m sure they would still actually like that; people are much more forgiving than you would think.
You have to get out and practice, most people aren’t good in social situations when they haven’t been in one for 2 years
Hi, I’m not sure if this comment will reach you, but this post broke me out of my stupor for long enough to write this.
I don’t know your story or what happened, but please don’t let them win. I’m not sure if this is the right time to say this, but if it makes a difference I wish I had understood that what others think is real is often very different from what I’ve observed and experienced.
What I’m trying to say is that if your own senses are telling you that the world around you isn’t fully “real,” your own faculties are less likely to be lying to you than those who inhabit that world, happily blind to anyone’s but their own reality.
Please don’t give in to that illusion.
I don’t know what to say, other than I relate to this a lot – the estrangement from family, feeling like my identity is kind of like a feather aimlessly carried by the breeze. It’s gotten better over time, but I definitely feel like I don’t have enough people in my life.
Just want you to know you’re not the only person alive that feels this way.
I’m in the same boat. It’s tough making new friends and feeling like they’ll stick around.