I’m genuinely starting to really dislike and distance myself from my best friend of 10 years. She has 3 children with different men and each relationship was basically a break up from beginning to end, with her ringing me constantly detailing every single thought that runs through her head.
We’re 23 now, nearly 24, I moved to another county and I hate to say it but a big factor in that was not wanting to have her as a close friend anymore, she’s the sort of person who constantly wants company and someone to be on the phone with her, whereas I really enjoy my own company and prefer to be alone throughout hard times.
My brother passed away when I was 21, and I had a mental breakdown. She was going through a breakup and I blocked her numbers on everything, removed myself from socials and ignored her for months. Got back in touch when she was finally moving on.
Fast forward to now, she’s breaking up with her 3rd baby daddy, the baby is 5 months old.
For the entire time they have been together he has been verbally abusive, used drugs regularly, smashed her house up and got an order where he’s not allowed to see her other children.
He shoplifts for a living, she found blocked escort numbers on his phone, and finally the past two weeks hes been caught using multiple dating apps and telling girls he is single.
He convinced her to have a 3some with his friend.
She genuinely believes he hasn’t cheated on her. He hasn’t lived with her for the entire time, and regularly tells her how annoying and needy she is and that he hates her.
They’re actually breaking up now, she’s blocked him, I’ve told her I’m so proud which I am to be honest. As much as I’ve lost my patience, I know her intention wasn’t to meet a manipulative and narcissistic asshole.
She’s ringing me multiple times a day and wants to be on the phone for hours, if I say I have to go she insists I ring her back or stay on the phone till the last minute.
I put my phone on airplane mode most of the time and told her I have my own stuff going on. I have a lot going on but prefer to deal with it alone.
I deal with breakups really well, and she asked how I’ve never cried over a boy.
I said I don’t have children.
What can I say to set a better boundary?
She’s ruining my days and I’m very empathetic so find it hard not to get emotionally involved or hang up.
Sorry for venting..