Im 18 (f) and I started college a few weeks ago and haven’t been able to make new friends, everyone has their group already except me. Some people talk to me here and there but it doesn’t go further and I don’t know how to go further, it’s scary to talk to an established group, it feels like I’m invading their space and I don’t want to be an annoyance so I spent most of my day avoiding everyone and walking around the campus (it’s my fault), honestly I did the same thing when I was younger and I’m scared it’s going to be like that again.
Yesterday I hanged out with a group and I had fun, everyone was having fun,but the next day no one talked to me, I don’t understand, I don’t think I did something wrong, I’m being friendly and all but no one has adopted me which makes me sad, I don’t know why is this affecting me this much it never did, I been mostly alone my whole life and I’m not trying to sound edgy I just haven’t been lucky.
It’s hard for me to have conversations, I just don’t know what to say, I been told that I’m boring, most of my conversations end up being silent and awkward, same thing happens online, no one seems to give me an opportunity to open up.
I believe this is destroying my experience at college, I thought things were going to be different but they weren’t and I’m still the same, any tips?
3 comments
I can relate. I’ve been alone for as long as I can remember. I’ve made friends here and there but at the end of the day, they’re all gone. They had their reasons. I had to let people go as well. Wasn’t respected. I accepted the fact that I’m uncommon. I’m not supposed to be like the rest, we all have our unique features. We shouldn’t try changing ourselves to fit in. I’ve grown since then. It’s still fresh, it’s been 8 months. I’m more talkative now, I don’t exactly have close friends but I’ve accepted the fact that it’s okay to be alone. Use that time to focus on yourself. Give yourself a chance to grow. To learn. To make mistakes. It’s better to be alone than being in a group of people who don’t really care about you. I know how’s that like. Life afterall isn’t meant to be easy ;). Dm me. If you’re looking for advice or just someone to talk to honestly.
Honestly feeling lonely the first couple months in college is natural. Change is so difficult and you have taken several huge steps in a matter of weeks. Moving away from home, new people everywhere, classes and away from your safety net (family). Take a minute and look at how incredibly brave you are for taking those steps… THAT IS HUGE! I encourage you to keep being brave but please give yourself some credit and love, you are doing really hard things. Keep your head up you will find your tribe 😉
You need to take initiative,, making friend need effort same with get a good grade