Am I lonely or is it something else?

For last 2-3 yrs I had some problems, and I was trying to find it root cause for that I start researching and analyzing it a lot.

One day I came across a post, from which I can relate to almost all of my problems and it says that lonely people will find it relatable.

I don’t know if I’m feel lonely, I’m in solitude but don’t know if there’s any loneliness or not. If it’s something else pls tell me.

So my problems was

1. I was addicted to porn for 3 yrs from which now after hard work, now I’m free, but it really did waste a lot of my time and drag me to the bottom.

2. I can’t feel connected to others, I feel some kind of distance.

3. If someone’s listening to me I over share myself and even say things which I want to keep secret.

4. I can’t be myself in front of others, it’s like I became someone else.

5. I try to fit in and it’s hard to say no for me.

6. I even say things and behave in such a way, which I don’t believe and which don’t represent who I am.

7. I was almost in solitude in those 3 yrs. And I don’t have any friends at all, I have my school friends but we rarely meet and whenever we plan to meet I just get excited.

8. I day dream of having a intimate romantic relationship.

9. I don’t why but when talking to anyone I feel like that I’m boring or what if they don’t find me someone worthy of spending their time. And tbh according to me im one of the most interesting person you can find.

10. If someone appreciate me I feel like I owe them because in my life I rarely rarely got any appreciation from anyone.

But the reason why I’m so confused is that I like being alone.

Thanks for reading pls share your valuable experience, advice or just anything worth sharing.