A lot of Americans I meet often leave their parents house very early on and sometimes move really far within the country or even abroad.

This is very different from the culture in my country where people like to stay close to family, do family gatherings often, keep in touch daily etc.

So just wonder if American society is really more individualistic (I don’t necessarly associate a negative connotation to this) or if it’s just I met a biased sample of people that do not represent the average American.

22 comments
  1. I have a close relationship with them but I am also relatively independent as well. I live hundreds of miles from my family but speak with them probably about once or twice a week.

  2. They are all manipulative control freaks. But that’s more to do with them being crappy sapiens than Americans.

  3. Very close, I just saw my mom on Friday. We talk on the phone a few times a week and try to see each other at least once a month, in addition to getting together for the holidays. My brother lives in a different city but we talk regularly and I consider him one of my closest friends; he was the best man at my wedding. I was about that close with my dad too but he is no longer alive so we can’t be friends anymore.

    Most of my extended family is in another country so I’m not that close with them.

  4. Call or text irregularly, but it’s generally 2-3 times a week. Visits are a bit harder, but I try for once every 3 months or so. If not that, then the one visit I get, I do it over the course of a few days.

  5. We’re close in that we have a good relationship, I trust them, I respect them and feel respected by them, and I enjoy spending time with them, but I would feel suffocated if I were expected to do *everything* with them. The idea of a family vacation sounds like the complete opposite of enjoyable.

    I don’t live very far away from them, only about a 2-hour drive, but I still don’t see them more often than every couple months. We all text and call regularly, though, and keep up on social media.

  6. Foreigners conflate love with dependency.

    Americans as a general rule are close with their family. They also move out earlier than other cultures. We believe that helping children to achieve independence is the first step towards a rewarding life, and that helping a child become independent is one of the best ways to show your love.

    To us, having your children stay in your home until their late 20s harms their development. I left home at 18 for college. There was no option to move back.

    My mom passed, but when she was alive I messaged and spoke with her daily. She and my dad were my best friends.

  7. I honestly don’t have much of one. All they try to contact me for is money so I don’t talk to them much

  8. I am incredibly independent from my family. I have not lived in the same time zone as them for the last 20 years. But we are still all incredibly close. It takes creativity and devotion, but we are a tight knit group. And this is my extended family. Myself, my daughter, my mother, gram, aunt, her daughters, uncle, his son, and 3 spouses. That is my entire family. We all speak daily, except my uncles son because he’s 10 and cares more about Legos than family lol

  9. >A lot of Americans I meet often leave their parents house very early on and sometimes move really far within the country or even abroad.

    America is a big place. There’s no reason to spend your life confined to a small geographic area just because you were born there or your parents live there.

    ​

    >This is very different from the culture in my country where people like to stay close to family, do family gatherings often, keep in touch daily etc

    With today’s technology, it’s effortless to keep in touch daily from anywhere in the world. You can be physically close without being emotionally close and you can be emotionally close without being physically close.

    ​

    >So just wonder if American society is really more individualistic (I don’t necessarly associate a negative connotation to this) or if it’s just I met a biased sample of people that do not represent the average American.

    It probably is more individualistic compared to other cultures, but that’s what we learn just like whatever you do is what you learn. It’s normal here.

  10. I’m not close to my family. I live far away from them and communicate with my siblings rarely. My step-father was a pedophile and I was beaten up and screamed at by my mother for years. No thanks.

  11. Yes, it is very individualistic. I only see my parents about once a year, but that’s probably on the low end of normal. Probably more half of the adults that I know don’t live close enough to their parents to see them without an overnight trip at least.

    But it’s common to talk or text with your family frequently.

  12. Very close! We all live by each other extended family is like 2-6 hours away I call or talk to them literally everyday 😆

  13. Not that close with my Mother, as we have had a rocky relationship for decades due to her blatant favoritism and narcissism. Stepdad is an OK Dude but we have polar opposite personalities. I am completely NC with all four of my siblings, and only see some of my nieces and nephews through their exes. My extended family on that side I rarely talk to and for the most part just maintain a Facebook following. I have one Cousin I am close with, but not as much as before. My Father died when I was a boy, and his side of the family pretty much ghosted me from then on. I really only care about my Wife, my five kids, (four with my Wife) and my Granddaughter. My Wife’s parents are awesome though.

  14. I am close with my parents, despite living 17 hr drive from them. I do talk to them most days. I have pretty much lost most contact with my brother just due to the fact he doesn’t answer the phone or texts. I am also in frequent contact with many of my Aunts, Uncles, and cousins who live far from me.

  15. Close. You will read a lot on Reddit about how people have abandoned their whole family but that’s extremely rare.

  16. Close in the sense of consistent communication and seeing another. We all live in the same state still and we’re a very small family, both of my parents are only children so I only have siblings no first cousins/aunts/uncles. My mom was born in UK and other than my grandparents all of her relatives are in the UK/elsewhere and I’ve never met them.

  17. Hate em. Living there because I’d have to drop out to afford my own place realistically…sucks

  18. My parents passed awhile ago (Dad 7 years ago, Mom going on 3 years), but I still talk to my siblings even though we live in different states. I also talk to my nieces, nephews, Aunts, Uncles, cousins (there are a LOT of us, Hawaiians and Irish both like big families). So,are we close as in do we live in the same area? Heck no, military families rarely live in the same places especially when they all went into different areas of the military. Are we close as in we talk to eachother often? Heck yeah we do. There are many types of “close”, and since phones were invented then social media, we are always talking to eachother daily. I talked to my great Aunt today about a recipe she wanted of mine and reminisced about my Dad, she’s going to try to find the picture of him at 15 with his pet crow 🤣

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