I recently realized that most of the time when someone offends me or says/does something that makes me uncomfortable, I just try not to care too much about it and let it slide. I don’t like it when I get defensive, or respond heatedly.
So how should I respond to people when I feel uncomfortable /angry /offended, while staying respectful?
If I just don’t tell them how I feel and try to get over it on my own, is that a healthy thing to do? Or is it just repressing my emotions?
Also, sometimes I do tell people when I am uncomfortable with the way that act, calmly, but then they’ll just tell me I’m over sensitive and I shouldn’t be angry at them, and they’ll ask me why am I in a bad mood. (Which, I’m sure I’m being calm stating my emotions, so I really don’t get it why they start accusing)
2 comments
Just ask them “what do you mean?” when they say something offensive. Then watch them try to stutter themselves out of the situation.
“That’s offensive.” “That makes me uncomfortable.” “Can you clarify that?” “Where are you going with that idea?” “Why do you think that’s appropriate?” “I’m not interested in talking about that at all/ in this setting / with you.” “That’s private.” “I don’t know you well enough.” “This isn’t the time or place.” “I’d have to think about that / I’ll get back to you.” “I don’t feel that way about it/them/you.” “I’m not trying to be difficult but…” “Do you insult everyone randomly or just me?”
And so many more…
Edit: also, The book “when I say no I feel guilty” is a real eye opener.